New Beginnings

So it will be a new beginning for me from Jan 1st onwards.

I had the thrill of running a successful company and growing something from nothing into a successful company that was able to help thousands of people find a career.

It will be melancholy to not deal with my employees on a daily basis, that is what I will miss the most.

I tried to be fair in everything I did.  I did the best I could.  Thank you, to all my staff and employees.  I had a lot of fun and my share of heartache but overall it was awesome.

I will keep you guys updated as to the weight loss and how it is going with the travel.

I have a lot of assets and stuff and today the new Blackberry Classic came out and I had to buy that of course.

But in 2015 I was thinking that I was not going to a single discretionary item (Non-Essential).  I wanted to see it feels like to not care of want anything.  So no buying houses, no land, no phones, no laptops etc...

It is is still in the planning stages but I will let you know my decision and how it feels to live like that.

Priya Pictures and Videos

Priya and Neeta in CA.  This is a place with Rocks like the one Priya is sitting on, where the kids are supposed to climb them:

Just chilling in her play room:

 Priya being silly with her pant on her head: (In CA at her sisters house, they just moved in, hence the new TV on the ground)

Priya at Holi:

Priya Dressed as Krishna:

Priya Dressed as Krishna, Closeup:

Priya Ready for a Party:

Dad holding Mom, oops that's Priya:

Priya - Boundless Energy

Priya is just a ball of energy or I simply have not been around kids enough.  Thank goodness for Sesame Street and Daniel Tiger TV show.  That is only time we can get her to sit quietly for about 30 minutes.

Besides those quiet moments she is a constant whirl of activity.  She wants to run everywhere and will invariably fall.  She keeps climbing the breakfast table and sits on top and eats.  I constantly fear that she will fall and sit her head.

I guess that is simply part of having a child, they do not listen and will do exactly what they want.

We will have to see how my mom handles her during the summer when she will be in India.  My mom is also a bundle of energy, but Priya is going to wear her out. 

I guess this is how we were when we were young, but I simply do not remember that far back.

Girls Are Vindictive

Based on a lot of experiences, I would say that girls are very vindictive.  The more vindictive they are, they less likely they are to make a good wife.

I think one of the defining qualities in a good wife, is the ability to forgive and forget.

I think the older, a girl gets, the less they are able to forgive and forget and the worst a wife they make.  This is probably why older guys marry such young girls, they are simply more forgiving.

I even consider my ex-wife a friend of mine.  I am unsure what she considers me, but I do consider her a friend.

It is only because of her, that I was able to become a success.  She made me step out into the world and prove myself.  My daughter is a direct result of my extra efforts to have a kid.

Every baby bird gets thrown out of the nest and only because I was thrown out was I able to become a success, in the classical sense of the word.

So Priya, when you meet my ex-wife, in case you ever do, be sure to thank her.  You are the direct result of her throwing you dad out of the nest.

This Hurt Me a Lot

I told you I met Nalini at the wedding reception and I asked for her Brother-In-Law's phone number.  He was a pretty close friend of mine, Prasad.  I told you in the previous entry that I owed his friend $5000 and I really wanted to pay it back.  I had no clue as to Dean's or Prasad's last name.  I only got the last name when I was looking through Nalini's friends list and I saw that her sister was still using her ex-husbands last name.  That is when it stuck me, what Prasad's last name was and I searched on Facebook and I found him.  Without that last name there is no way I could have found him.  I then added him as a friend and he accepted and I got his number.

I told him that I have been searching for his contact for a long time and that I wanted, nay, had to, pay back Dean the money I owed him.  He was very happy that I had called him and we had a nice long talk.  I talked to Dean and he was happy to hear from me also.  From what Prasad told me Dean is well off, and probably did not care about the money.  But that was not for me to decide weather he needed the money or not.  I owed it to him and I HAD to pay it back to me.

Sometimes things like this slip your mind after an initial try.  I Goggled Dean and shipping, because I knew he had a shipping company.  Not much.  I Googled Dean and Prasad, but really without a last name it is pretty much impossible to find someone.  So I gave up looking and I forgot about it.  Seeing Nalini gave me the initiative to try again and this time with the last name I was successful.

So today I checked Facebook and I got this message from Nalini:

As you wrote “People do not change. Your opinion of them when you knew them is probably the valid opinion." My intuition about you was correct…you said that I don’t know the new Vijay, but you appear to have not changed at all. After what 10-15 years or longer of not being in touch and asking me for Prasad’s number was transparent. It seems that if you really wanted to pay Dean back, you would have found a way to get in touch with him without my assistance. You were obviously resourceful enough to find his number on your own and leads me to believe that you were trying to find out information that is none of your business concerning my family affairs. Your comments and conclusions that you’ve drawn are inappropriate and strike me as malicious. You’ve shown your true character and you are certainly not someone I would consider as a friend or want to be in my life. Perhaps you are extremely bored and unhappy in life to write about other people in your blog. Please do not bother responding as I am blocking you.

I am guessing that she thinks I am trying to pry into her families life.  I do not care about her family life or what is going on.  I was just excited to meet someone from my past.  Asking for Prasad's number, was exactly what I explained I needed it for.  Nothing more.  It was not trying to pry into your families life.  I have no clue what happened to you all after I left DC and I never once tried to even find out, because I simply had no interest.  

Now I did talk to Prasad and we are getting together in DC on Dec 20-21 along with Dean.  They were excited to meet up and I am very excited to meet them.

I think when you want to read others actions as evil and malicious, you can do that,  if that is what you thought going in, no matter how innocuous an action or a comment might have been.

About the last thing I am in my life is bored.  If you want to use the words: over-worked, over-burdened, stressed, then yes you can substitute any of those words in place of bored.  

As far as writing my blog, it is mostly about me, and hardly about anybody else. Mostly pictures of my daughter and mainly about me.  I write my blog because I enjoy it and I hope my daughter learns from it and can hopefully not make the same mistakes that I made.  I do not think you read many entries.

I was truly excited in seeing friends from my past.  But just by asking for a phone number for an ex-brother-in-law I get a comment from you like the above, it seems to show a high degree of mistrust.  I am unsure what I did to you to get to that level of mistrust.  If you do not consider me a friend, I respect that and will consider all my future actions with those words in mind when and if I have to ever deal with you again.

Thomas Wolf, wrote: "You can never go home again".

Truly things and people change and you cannot recapture the moments from your past.  Really no use in dwelling on the past, it is much better to move ahead.  

Not sure why, but Nalini's comments really hurt me.  When I read them, my heart was racing and I actually felt pain.  If I was someone more emotional, I am sure I would have burst into tears, but lucky for me, I can internalize pain and keep it inside of me and keep a smile on my face.

Prasad and Dean I am excited about meeting up with you guys in DC on Dec 20-21.  I think it would have been more fun in Vegas, but DC is fine too.

Dean - Chance to Fix a Mistake

There are always mistakes you make in your past and it is nice to be able to correct those errors.

I had borrowed $5000 from a friend of a friend of mine.  After a few years I wanted to pay it back but I was never able to get in touch with my friend.

I tried googling him, I tried contacting other friends of his.  Nothing.

I had this on my mind for so long and I really wanted to pay this money back to Dean.

I went to this wedding in DC this weekend and I got hold of his Ex-Wife and her sister and they claimed that they did not know his number.  I was surprised by that.  You do not the phone number for the father of your child?  Weird!  I did not remember my friends last name, but then I checked Facebook and my friends ex-wife is still using his last name.  A Facebook search later and a friend request gets accepted and boom, I got hold of Prasad.  Prasad gave me Dean number and I called him and told him how I owed him money and I wanted to send it to him.

He was, of course, surprised and pleased that somebody had the integrity to want to pay this money back.  Prasad told me that Dean is well off and the money is not a big deal to him.  But like I said, an obligation is an obligation, and when you get a chance to fix a mistake from your past, you jump on it.

So I am sending him the original $5000 today that I owed him and $10,000 towards the interest in a month or so.

I feel like a burden has been lifted off my shoulder with this payment.

I am meeting up with my friends, Prasad and Dean, on Dec 20-21 in DC.  It has been a long time and it will be fun to get together again.   Dean now has 4 kids and Prasad has 2 kids, so I guess our conversations will be much different than the past.

28 and 22 Year Old

There is this 28 year old from my past that wants to marry me and I told her no way.  I even had a 22 year old tell me that I was not to old and that she could see her herself with an older man.  I just smiled, it is cute to think about it, but no way. 

Now that I am much older and do not even know how to handle a 28 year old's energy, much less a 22 year old, I am getting offers.  Life is so unfair. 

So let us get this straight.  I would not make a good husband.  I have a million other things going on.  You would come way too low on my schedule to be happy.  I am trying to free up my schedule so that I have more time for my daughter.

 I will give you the same advice that I would to my daughter.  Find someone near you own age or possibly even younger and in super good health.  It almost does not matter what he does for a living as long as he is smart.

At worst send him to me and I will train him for a $100,000 job and have him working in 6 months in a good IT job.

Kumo in DC

I was getting ready for the trip to travel the world and Kumo is now in DC with the girls.  I am sure that he will get lots of attention there.

Ramakka's house has a big fenced backyard that he can enjoy himself in.  Kumo enjoy yourself buddy in your own backyard. 

Ariel had to put her dog down because of some cancer and I will sure will come over a lot and play with you also.  So you really have 4 girls to take care of you. 

Anisha is planning on taking you to the park and running with you, so good luck with that.  By the time I come back from the trip you will be a lean mean Akita.

Wedding Reception

I went for a wedding reception in DC and I met Nalini there.  After my divorce there was really only 2 girls I though of meeting from my past and one of them was Nalini.

It was nice seeing her, I had no idea that she was coming to the wedding.  It was crazy loud at the wedding and I never really got to talk to her, except for a casual hello.

It is crazy that I did not know her last time.  I knew her for years and never got around to knowing her last name. If I had known her last name I would have definitely gotten in touch with her.  She was one of the truly nice ones from my youth.

It was surprising that hardly any of the kids from my generation came for the wedding only Lakshmi, Lalitha, Kalpana and Nalini were there.  No Suman, No Ramu, No I forgot the rest of the names.  I was happy to see Kalpana's son, Shaunik there.  A lot of the kids that I grew up up, acted a lot more American and distanced themselves from the India side.  I was always more Indian than American.  I love Telugu movies but I love American Football and my Redskins.  I think I am a good mix of both and I am able to mix well with both groups.

Good thing you never married me Nalini, I am a terrible husband.  Good provider, but terrible husband.  I am sure my current wife would agree with me.

Priya Victory

The doctor told us to stop giving Priya milk in her bottle.  So Neeta tried to give milk to her in a cup, a sippy cup, in a tetra pak with a straw.  In each instance she would take a sip realize it was milk and refuse to drink out of it.

So Neeta figured that if we only give it in those containers she would eventually give in and drink her milk.  For 3 days Priya refused to drink milk and finally we are back to giving her milk in her bottle, the way she likes it.

Score:

Priya - 1
Neeta - 0

Haloween Videos

Here are Videos from our Halloween Party:

This is the decorations from outside.  You cannot really tell, but those lights on the scrubs are eye balls.:



Decorations Inside the House 1:



Decorations Inside the House 2:



Decorations Inside the House 3:



Guests Just Starting to Arrive:



Witch's Brew Punch:



Siri Cutting her Cake:



Priya In Her Costume:



Priya Playing with Dry Ice 1:



Priya Playing with Dry Ice 2:



Priya Playing with Dry Ice 3:

Halloween Pictures

Here are some Pictures from the Halloween Party

Breakfast Area Decorations.  The Spider on the lights actually lights up and the eyes are red in the dark. 

Kumo dressed up in his costume.  He is a biker dog.

Neeta's good friends, Abhinika from our neighborhood.  She got her whole family to dress up.  She is dressed as a Top Gun Pilot.  They are a fun family and her daughter, Abhika and Priya are best friends.

We celebrated Siri's birthday (Bhavani's Daughter) and here is Priya eating the cake. It was a cute Barbie cake.

Priya's best friend, Abhika.

You Are Not a Good Father

On Saturday we had a Halloween party and we had about 100 people over and it was a great party.

Priya does not go to daycare yet so she rarely interacts with multiple people like she did at that party.

On Monday she had a fever and my mom wanted somethings in India so we went over to Naveen's house to drop them off.  Neeta and Priya wanted to come over also, so all three of us went.

Her fever got a little worse by evening and Neeta gave her Tylenol and put her to bed.

I took a shower and went down and as usual sat on the sofa and picked up my laptop.  Priya came over and sat next to me, which is kind of unusual and her favorite TV show (Daniel Tiger) was ending so I put on a new show for her and it had just started and Priya started having a seizure.  It was one the scariest moments of my life.  I put my finger in her month and asked someone to get me something so that she can bite on, her lips started turning blue and she was biting down super hard on my hand.  Her eyes rolled to the top of her head and it looked like she could not breathe.  After about 1 minutes she stopped and she started turning normal again and I cannot say it if was a convulsion or a seizure, but it was one of them.  I bundled her up into the car and took her to the hospital right away.  Luckily it was only 5 minutes away I got her to the emergency room.

The nurses gave her Tylenol 120, not sure what that means, but that is what they said.  They cath'ed her and took  her blood and after she cooled down they took a chest x-ray and then gave motrin or advil, I forgot.   They gave us a prescription for Anti-biotic's and Tylenol.  They said she has an infection since one of her ears was redder then the other (Inner ear).

Within 2 hours they discharged her and we were back home with Priya smiling and everything normal again.  Priya was sleeping like a little doll when I left for work.

I have to say it was one of the scariest moments of my life as I say my daughter shaking and turning blue.  It is hard to get me rattled, but it brought tears to my eyes.  I thought Priya was going to die in my arms, at least that is how she looked like.  It was terrifying.

Then I thought of something my ex-wife said.  She said that I was a bad father.

I always thought that I did the best I could, but I have never been overly obsessive father.  I do not bathe Priya, I do not feed Priya, I do not change her diapers (I may have changed 10 in my life).  I play with her she comes to me and we hang out, but I guess I was waiting for her grow up a little more  before we can interact together.

I checked the Tylenol that we gave Priya last night and it had expired July 2014.  So my guess is that the medicine might not have been effective and with the high fever she got the seizure.

When we went to the hospital her temperature was 103.7.  I felt her forehead last night and this morning and she did not feel that hot, but then again those haunting words from my ex-wife come back to haunt me.  You are not a good father.

It was an emotional day for me so far and I am happy that Neeta did not see Priya like that having that seizure, I do not think she would have handled it well.

I guess in the end, a lesson is learned and now that Priya is home and safe in bed and her fever in control we can all relax.

 It was a nice when we were checking out of the hospital and Priya was smiling again.  She wanted milk when we got home and we gave it to her, but she held on to the milk and slept.

Packing Up and Selling Cars

I have the movers coming on Sunday to take a lot of our stuff to storage.  I am moving a little fast, just so the wife knows I am dead serious on traveling the world for the next few years.

I hate to do it, but I will sell my 2014 Mercedes S550 this month.  I special ordered it from Germany.  It is an Edition 1 model and is so beautiful and is super fun to drive.  This is probably the 2nd favorite car that I have owned.  (My favorite was a Mercedes AMG S500) (3rd favorite was my Mercedes SL500 Convertible).  But when I sell this car, she will know that I am dead serious on this trip.

I think the wife is thinking that I am not serious about this stuff.  But I am dead serious.  We are going to live all over the world for the next few years or until I get bored.  If I get bored we will come back.  Once Priya has to start school we will come back.

I will sell the wife's Lexus LX570 next month and keep only the Cadillac Escalade ESV around for the month of November.  We both work in my office and really do not see many cars anyway.

So if anybody wants either of these cars, give me a call.  I am selling them. 

2014 Mercedes S550 - Edition 1 with Every option - 10,000 Miles
2013 Lexus LX570 - Every Option - 10,000 miles

Both are in perfect condition.

I remodeled a house

I own a house next to Ramakka.  I mean the very next house, Ramakka lives at 6812 Kingwood and the house I own is at 6810 Kingwood. 

This was the first house that I remodeled myself with all my own ideas and it came out amazingly beautiful.  My sisters son saw it and loved it, so I sold it to him at cost.  These houses are 70 years and older and I basically brought the house back to the studs and redid everything.

I put marble flooring at the entrance, and redid the bathrooms and kitchen to make everything modern.

I made the house into a 5 bedroom and 3 full bathrooms and 2 kitchens and replaced everything.  New Central AC, new Water Heater, New Roof, replaced every dry wall, replaced the drainage in the basement.

I was really proud of the job that I did not that house, it really turned our beautiful.  I could have made a $100,000 profit, but I sold it to Brendan (my sisters son) at cost and am will make nothing on it.

I could swear, how my wife acted and others acted, that I had committed a big crime by not making money.

Life is not always about making money in my view.  If we can keep it in the family and be able to help out Ramakka by keeping Brendan next to her, there is nothing better than that in my view.  Someone needs to be next to Ramakka so that she feels safe as her girls leave the house as they get married and she ages and gets older.  It must be very comforting to her that Brendan lives next door now.  Yes Brendan is living there now, until he officially buys the house sometime in the next few weeks.  We are waiting for the closing date to be finalized.

Songs on Love?

Here are two songs on the subject of Love that I really enjoy, just beautiful songs both of them.

I was transferring movies from DVD to MP4 and I found these 2 songs:

Kundanapu Bomma - The boy has said that he loves the girl, but the girls said let us be friends since she is Christian and her dad will never agree.  They are on a trip from Kerala to Hyderabad and his plan is to make her fall in love with him during the trip.  The scenes on the train are in real life and the rest is how he feels and his imagination.



 Here is Jaane Kyon with English Subtitles - Aamir Kahn does not believe inn Love and asks why people fall in Love and Preeti Zintha talks about how wonderful Love is.

Priya is Junior Jyothi

My daughter is starting to look more and more like my mother.

I call her Junior Jyothi all the time.  She has tremendous energy and goes to bed very late. 

Two nights ago, I could not get that kid to bed.  We watched videos, we played and finally I got tired and put her in her crib at 1:30am.  She cried for a little while so I took her out and put her to bed with me in my bed, she kept trying to get out of bed, so I put her in her crib again.  She cried and after awhile she finally stopped crying so I went to check on her and she was wide awake.  So I put her in my bed with me again and she finally went to bed at 2:30am.  I woke up at 8:30am and I went to check on Priya and that kid was already awake and eating idli's.  Yup, she has boundless energy. 

I can only imagine that she is going to be a terror in school, because she is going to be such a high energy kid.

Junior Jyothi is the perfect name for her.

Whom do you believe and does it even matter?

There are situations in life when you really do not want to learn the truth and I will give 2 examples of that.

Sometimes during a divorce you see massive acrimony and 2 sides to every story.  The girls side will believe the girls side, the boys side will believe the boys side, no matter what lies are told.

Of course everybody will paint a picture of pure innocence to get the most sympathy for their case.  But ultimately, no matter what, you want to believe your side, not matter how preposterous the stories sound.

But then the question come, does it really matter whom you believe? 

I have a cousin that is getting divorced and I would have never imagined that she would be getting divorced.  She was raised in a small town in India, and got an arranged marriage to a kid that was also raised in India but working in USA.  I remember seeing them initially, they would be glued to each other and were super lovey dovey.

I did not get a chance to hear the boys side, since we are from the girls side.  The girls side say that the boy only listens to his mother and not to his wife.  That is the gist of the complaint.

I cannot imagine that someone would be getting divorced over such a small issue.  But that is what you hear from our side.  We are of course going to support our side and believe whatever we hear, because you really do not want to dig and find out the truth.  The girl was working in another town then where her husband worked.  I have my suspensions on why the marriage failed, but why even think of those options.  It is simply easier and better for everybody to simply believe our girls side of the story.

I have a friend that got divorced and it was a love marriage.  The girl looks and acts super innocent and sweet.  Eventually the marriage fell apart over infidelity.

Here is the girls side:

Girl is working and makes a lot of money
The boy used to beat her
The boy blackmailed her into marriage
The boy used to take all the money she made and would not give her anything
The girl never cheated on him
Boy never worked and sat at home watching TV and eating
Girl only cheated once and when she was unhappy in her marriage and that resulted in kids

Here is the boys side:

Girl cheated on him within 1st year of marriage, and this caused him to lose interest in almost everything, including studying for exams.
The kids born during marriage had a different father and the boy did not know until the end of the marriage.
Boy did not work during the marriage much, he never had a chance to build a career since they were moving to help her career.  All the towns they were in were small towns where they was nothing to do.

In story number 2, each side is going to believe their side and there is no way to change their opinions.  Truth does not matter and the only thing that matters is the perception of truth.  Plus when you are looking into the eyes of the girl that you knew as a small girl, and she is telling her side of the story, you are going to believe her, you simply have no other choice.

Let us look at case number 2.  What if the boy really did not beat the girl, or blackmail her into marriage and what if the girl really did cheat on the boy in the first year of marriage and multiple times after that.  What if the boy was a success as soon as the divorce happened when he was able to move to where he had a chance to achieve success?  The truth means that the girl is a WHORE.  You still have to interact with her at parties and other gatherings, she is one of your own.  So trust me, you really do not want to know the truth, it can only damage relationships.

So I guess we will all just have to act like this blind animal and follow along and help our side move on with life, that will be the much easier solution and then going after the truth.  In certain situations you really do not want to learn the truth and these situations listed above are those situations.

Anyway a lot of people are doing what they want, without regard to consequences and Sri Sri (Srirangam Srinivasarao) said of people like this:

If we lose something let it be lost
Friends, well wishers and parents
Let what comes, come along
Hard times, losses, anger, curses

It Telugu it rhymes really well.

So to everybody out there, it looks like you can live how you want to, and be ready to face a few hard times and lose a few friends and well wishers.  But you can choose to live exactly how you want to live as long as you are aware of those consequences.

In conclusion, there are times in your life when you really do not want to know the truth and the above 2 situations are examples of those situations.  You have to live with your side of the family for ever, so why learn the truth, since the truth may only have negative consequences.

Happiness is Elusive

Happiness is such an elusive concept.  There were times of great happiness in my life and I am sure on the surface I should be happy.  So then the questions come to mind, when was I happy? what made me happy? who made me happy?

I guess we need to start the question of why am I unhappy now.

The main reason is my unhappiness with myself.  I am self-destructive in my own health.  The underlying cause of everything almost always comes back to this.  I would say that 90% of my unhappiness comes back to this.

I enjoy going home to my daughter, except for her, I do not like going home.  I do not find it a place of laughter, enjoyment and peace. A lot of times when I am unhappy, I am simply quiet and stay to myself.

Then we need to answer the question of what makes me happy.

I am unsure what actually makes me happy.  I can point to the times of great happiness and the happiest moments in my life were when I was in Bangalore.

I used to love just hanging out with Srinu, Bindu, Sunand or any number of other friends that I had.

I would like to say that I am happy playing cards with my friends, but I cannot.  In the back of my mind I am wondering why the hell am I wasting time.  I should read a book instead, or do something more productive.

So I am unsure where to move forward from this point, so that I can get back to point of happiness and contentment.  A starting point will be to quit my job, so on Dec 31st will be my last day of work.  I was planning on traveling the world for a few years and living in different parts of the world, but I am starting to wonder if this so wise.  Maybe it would be better to based out of Bangalore and then travel on short 2 week trips every month.

I can see why people do crazy things when they are unhappy, because you feel trapped in this place with no escape. 

I was listening to the below song and I guess there is no way to get a point like that anymore.  I think those emotions of pure happiness only come with your first love.



I would like to be like my cousin brother, Venu, and work 30 years and be a responsible dad and husband.  But there is no way I can do that, I feel such a sense of unhappiness and I think in the long run there is nobody to blame except for myself.

I did ask Srinu to look for a place for me in Lavelle Rd, in UB city, and I will likely move there in December and I will make all future plans based on how I feel and day by day.  I guess I can get away being irresponsible for another 2 year, until Priya starts school at which point I have to settle down some where.

I can see my bad attitude is starting to effect my work and I have not been nearly as dedicated as I used to be.  I would never want my employees effected by my unhappiness so from January 1, 2015, Upendra will be taking over my role while I take a break.  I hope this break will re-energize me and I can return a much happier person.

Ted Talks

When you guys have free time you all should really take time to visit this website and learn:

https://www.ted.com/talks/browse

They have tremendous learning opportunities.  I try and watch one video a day.  Sometimes I go home and see the family doing nothing productive but watching Soap Operas or Entertainment Sitcoms.  There are a few that I love also.  But I also believe that everyday should be a chance to learn something new and you should strive for that.  Read a book, watch Ted Talks, Read a Newspaper, do something that allows you to learn.  To all of you, keep learning something new everyday.  I cannot imagine life without continuously learning.

Here is a summary of what they are about:

TED is a nonprofit devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). TED began in 1984 as a conference where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged, and today covers almost all topics — from science to business to global issues — in more than 100 languages. Meanwhile, independently run TEDx events help share ideas in communities around the world.

Video of All the Pictures from Priya's 1st Birthday Party

Here is the video of all the pictures from Priya's first birthday party.  I figured it would be easy to share the pictures this way:

When I embed the video the blog is taking way to long to load, so here is the link for the video on Youtube.  The video is 50 minutes long which is why it is taking so long to load as an embedded video:

http://youtu.be/h6x23MxSF18

Pictures from Priyas Birthday

Here are a few pictures from Priyas Birthday.  A lot of pictures did not make it, because there were too large and the blogger website would not allow them.  So here are a few of the pictures from the party.

This is Priya, Niki and her Grandmother.  Niki and Priya have matching dresses.

Priya with Daddy and Mommy.

Priya and her Mom's Family

Priya with Ramakka and the Girls

Brendan and His Grandfather. 

 

Priya sitting on the table so that she can blesses by her elders.  She sat quietly for about 10 minutes and then decided she had enough.

 
 Priya with her Dad's best friend.  Dr Bobby and his Beautiful Wife Ami.

Priya with her cousins on her moms side

Priya with her Uncle Upendra and Usha

One of two main Ice Sculptures

This was the balloon guy that greeted guests as they entered the hall

This was the other main ice sculpture.  A little girl blowing out a candle on a cup cake.

Priya's Birthday Cake

Akhil, his wife and more relatives from Priyas Mom Side.

Priya with Venanna and his family

Priya with Dr Bhavani and her family.  They are not our relatives, but they sure feel like our relatives.

Vikram, Haritha, Esha - More of your cousins Priya from your fathers side.  They flew in from CA to be with you.  They are awesome.  I wish I could have spent more time with them.

Here is Rohan (Murli's son) and Yesh (Naveen's son) who danced like crazy all night long.

Priya's First Step

Here is Priya taking her first step:

Here is Priya taking her first steps.  Anisha was walking behind her and practicing walking and then she let go.  Priya stood there for a long time and then finally took a step and the girls (Anisha, Aneela, Anjali, Niki, and Rekha) all started screaming and Priya got scared (You see her legs shaking), and then she cried took a few more steps to her mom.

Advice to Priya

I always wanted to write to you and give you advice about what I have learned.  So here goes.

Health:

You will hear it all the time.  "Health is your most important asset."  I have to emphasize to you that this is by far the most important lesson to learn.  I have not done it and I pay the price at age 49.  When I was younger all I did was want to play basketball, all the time.  Being 300 pounds now, I am sure that the only reason I am even alive now is because of how much I used to play basketball when I was younger.

Once you get older you will tend to work more and tend to play less.  This should be done exactly inverse.  Try and pick up a sport, Tennis, Golf, Hiking, Bicycling, the choices are endless, and then try and play as much as you can.  This will be the key to a health life.  As is, you have crappy genes.  Most of the family has diabetes and tend to be on the larger side, so you have to be extra careful.

I did not do this and I do not want you to make the same mistake as I did.  I will emphasize this again, "Health is your most important Asset."  Nothing else even comes close to this.

Money:

I grew up in a very middle class lifestyle and I had rather ordinary dreams.  I never thought that I would live much beyond 60 (because of I was massively overweight), so my whole life I lived with that assumption and I lived a luxurious lifestyle. I make a lot of money now, but there is a saying, "It is now how much you make, it is how much you save, THAT is what you make."

This is so true, I have always been a terrible saver.  In fact I would say that I am a bit of a spendthrift.  So I would like for you to live a life without debt.  Buy a house with cash, buy a car with cash.  Your most important mission is to live without any debt.

So remember if you make a $100,000, that is not actually correct.  At the end of the year, how much did you save of that $100,000, that is what you made.

Stuff:

The world has become much commercialized, and the messages they are sending you is that you want this and that.   It may be a Gucci purse or maybe Manolo Blahnik Shoes.  For me at least it was a Rolex and a Mercedes.  I was able to afford it in my 30's and I bought it, but you know what after the first 1 week of excitement, I could care less about it, I gave the Rolex to my dad and I have been through multiple Mercedes, but nothing gave me the pleasure you would think would come from possessing it.    Let me give you some advice, do not waste your money chasing luxury, you will hardly care about it after you worked so hard to get it.  Do not fall into this trap.  It is simply an endless cycle.

Instead of stuff, learn to enjoy experiences instead.  Go hike the Himalayas rather buy buying something, it will give you infinitely more pleasure.

I am not saying not to buy what you need.  Go ahead and buy it, but be reasonable in your wants, that is all.  I was not and I hoping you learn this lesson from me.

Lifestyle:

We have a lot of assets now, but had I been even a little bit judicious, we would be very rich.  But like I said, that was never a dream of mine.  I wanted to enjoy life and have fun and I felt like I did that.  I did things that people can only dream about.  I lived on a beach for 6 months, in a super luxurious house.  I had parties there almost every night.  I acted in movies.  I traveled all over the world.  Really stuff of dreams.  I had a great life.

Unlike me, you have been born into a rich family.  Your mission in life is to enjoy yourself and find something to do that you enjoy.  Each of us has different talents and your mission is to find yours and develop that.  Since you will be entrusted with significant money, your job is to protect that money for future generations.  I do not want you to use that money as a crutch so that you do nothing, that would the worst thing you could do.  Be a teacher, engineer, doctor, or even an actress, I do not care, but do it with passion and fire and be the best at it that you can be.  That is what would make me proud.

But this does not mean that I will accept mediocrity from you.  If you work hard and still fail at something, I am fine with that.  But laziness is something that will not be accepted.  I was extremely smart and I accepted mediocrity in myself and I will not accept that from you.  I will provide the best help for you, in case you have trouble in anything.  I know this is a double standard, but like I said, I will not allow you to be anything but the best that you can be.

Honesty:

I have lied, stolen, cheated.  I am not saying that I did it all the time, but I have done these things.  These are things that weigh on me to this day.  So here in my advice to you; Never Lie, Never Cheat, Never Steal.  I do not mean for one year, I mean your whole life.  Keep every decision you make with the three mantras; Do not lie, Do not cheat, Do not steal.  There are of course lots more DO NOT's, but you get the idea.  I want you to have values and live your life within those values, no matter how hard that decision would be.

I remember every bad decision that I have ever made and every one of those decisions still haunt me.  I do not want to have burdens like that.  I used to justify what I did by saying that only the rich can afford to be virtuous, but that is not true.  If you choose to do it, you can.

Drugs and Alcohol:

Nowadays Marijuana is legal in a lot of states, so I am unsure what to advice you on this subject.  I have tried Marijuana, Alcohol, Cigarettes, and X.  But I did not enjoy any of them and none of those things gave me as much pleasure as playing a game of pickup basketball.  I have friends that are in positions of trust, Doctors and Big time CEO's that still do drugs and are able to function normally.  I do not do drugs and I do not enjoy alcohol but I am hardly anyone to say what is right or wrong.  I would prefer that you enjoy life in other ways.  Never do hard drugs, they will simply sap your will and drive to accomplish things.

Life is really about moderation.  So drink a few glasses of wine, I do not see any issue in that.  Drink until you pass out, that is wrong.

Family and Friends:

I have friends that are like family to me.  I have family that are almost strangers to me.  I also have family that act like a family should act.  You will hear all the time that, "family is most important thing."  I am ambivalent to this statement.  My friends have helped me when I had nothing and helped me grow to where I am now.  When I was down, all the family did was point and say, do not be like him.  Now that I am successful (In their terms, not mine), they point and say to be like me.

Like I mentioned, you will have significant money under your control and maybe approached by friends and family for help.  Try and help where you can, but one of the hardest things to say is NO, and you will have to learn to say it.  People make bad decisions and you need to let people learn from their bad decisions.  Be there to help when they have truly fallen and cannot get up. Here are some examples of decisions that I have gotten into and what I did.  You will likely come across situation like this and you will have to make your own decisions on if you would like to help or not.

My friend a doctor wanted a loan of $50,000 to fight a lawsuit - I gave it to him, because he had significant assets and simply had a cash crunch since his bank account was frozen.  He did pay this back.

A family member wanted to borrow $10,000 to fund a new business - I gave it to him, because he provided me the invoices and explained the business and it sounded reasonable to me.  I did not get this back.   - I am not very tough when it comes to collection with family, and I knew they were in trouble, so I let it go.  In situations like this, when the money is insignificant, I want to just forget about it.  Do not let money haunt you or feel that they cheated you.  Remember when people are under financial pressure, they will do anything to get money from you.  You will have to learn to say NO.  I should have said NO in this situation, but I wanted to believe their story and was hoping that with the $10,000 they get back on their feet.  I guess it was a case of wanting to believe that it was true.

A friend wanted money to pay his wife's last year of medical college and he said that without that payment the college would give her degree and she could not start a residency that she was accepted for.  I gave him $17,000.  He paid interest for a few months then he disappeared.  I later wrote a story in my blog about him and he called me within a few days and begged me to take it down, since he did not his family reading about it.  He promised to pay me back, saying that he was tight.  He finally did pay back $15,000 but his interest is still pending.  His wife is a doctor making significant money, but he still has not paid it back.  Recently be begged me for $3000 and he said that he would pay it back in 1 month, but it has been 3-4 months and he paid back $1000.  I should have been strong to say NO, but I did not.  I hope you are stronger than me in situations like this.  I gave the money because I put myself in his shoes.  If someone helped me like that I would make it a point to pay this back.  But each of have circumstances and events may overtake us and not allow us to pay back what we owe.

A friend wanted money to start a business.  I gave him $100,000.  He gave me 20% ownership in the business.  I also raised another $70,000 from other friends when the business needed more money.  This friend if one of the hardest working people that I know, but what he is terrible at is communication.   He has never sent out one update on the company.  He has never provided financials to show where the company is at.  When you invest in a business I want to to 2 things.  I want you to invest in a business because you trust the individual.  I DO NOT want you to invest if you do not trust them 100%.  There is nothing more important than the integrity and trust in the person running the business.  I also want you to get in writing that you will be provided every year a complete financial records and if you are not the investment becomes a demand note payable immediately.  I did not do this and I do not want you to have to face a situation like this.

There are lots more, but you get the idea.  Learn to say NO, it will one of the most important lessons that you learn.

Sex and Relationships:

I actually started rather late in life to show interest in girls.  I would much rather have played a game of basketball then go out on a date when I was in High School.  I did start to develop more interest in girl in college, but by that time I was around 300-330 pounds and then it because clear that girls were not interested in me.  I used to play a lot, but I never did lose that much weight.

My first real girlfriend was my ex-wife.  She was fantastic as a girlfriend.  We dated for 5 years and were married for a little over 10 years.  I will not go into her details much here.

So what are my views on, in your case, when you can have a boyfriend?

I am unsure on this and my guess would how mature you are and if it helping or harming you in achieving your goals.  But as a general rule, I feel like you should be at least 16 before you have a relationship.

When can you have sex?

Hummm.  I am so unsure about this.  Sex is nothing more than nature providing you with hormones that make you want have sex for procreation.  But I can tell you one thing, sex was so different when you are GF and BF relationship and when you are married.  So I am not going to say no sex until you are married, but this again comes down to maturity and how you handle this. I do not think I have a rule for this, but I would hope that you wait until you are 18.  I am sure that everyone in the family will disagree with me on this.

Who should you marry?

Most of your cousins consider Indian Boys unattractive.  I would prefer that you marry a nice Telugu Indian boy.  But this is such a personal decision.  You have to live with the consequences of that decision your whole life.  So be wise, but here a few things I suggest that you look for:  He should be fit (not like you dad at all), well educated, have strong values, and would never hit a women.

So I would prefer that you marry a Telugu boy and I will surround you with them, but the choice is yours.

I am sure there is more to write on this subject, and I continue this later.

Family Honor:

You as a women will control the honor of your family.  Your actions alone will define the honor of your family.  The most important thing in your life should be your family, above everything else and by this I mean, your husband and your kids.

This is not to say that if you fail and need our help we will not be there.  I will unequivocally say that we will be here to help you no matter what you do.  You could call us at any time and we will be there for you.  We may not approve of your actions, but we will be there to pick you up and help you, no matter what.

Emotions:

I am not very emotional so you will not see a lot of overtly emotional displays.  As I get older a lot of things bring me to tears, but I can usually control myself, emotionally at least.  I think in the end this has become a handicap in a sense for me.  But I can guarantee you that you are well loved and we will always be there for you.

I will never hit you no matter what you do.  I will explain what is right and wrong and hopefully you will learn.

Here are  questions that were asked by your cousins, so I hope that they might apply to you:

At what age can I have a boyfriend?

Again I am unsure of a specific age, but my guess would be that 16 might be general guideline, but it would really depend on your specific maturity level and after having a boyfriend is it affecting you positively.  If I see that having a boyfriend has affected you negatively then you will lose that privilege.

Shall I work a job?

I do not see anything to gain by working while you are in school.  Your circumstances have made you fortunate so that you do not need to work and I prefer that you put 100% of your energy into your school activities be it educational, athletic or otherwise.   If you have so much free time, I prefer you do volunteer work and help the community somehow.

How should I look, makeup? Weight?

I have been overweight most of my life, so I am acutely aware of the costs to me.  I will push you to be fit and strong since I do not want you to have any health issues.  I know nothing about makeup and I cannot really advise on this.  But makeup does not make you beautiful.  In the end it is your spirit, your values, and your intellect that make you beautiful.

Do what you need to do so that you feel and look beautiful if that is important to you.

As a father will you be my friend or something else?

I am not really much of a father.  I doubt I will be tough on you, but I also doubt that I will be a friend.  My mission in life is to make you into a productive member of society and I will do whatever it takes for you to become this productive member of society. I will try and stay consistent on my decisions so that you know exactly what I want from you.

What can I do to make you proud of me?

All I need from you is to become a productive member of society.   I just do not want for you to be a drug addict or someone that does nothing because you have money.

Even if you fail, I will be proud of you as long as you have tried your best.

A Special Delivery

The below letter was written by a grandfather, when his grandchild was born.  It brought me to tears.

Dear Caralyn,


You’re barely a month old now, too young to read this letter. But one day soon, someone will show you this, and maybe it will help you understand the wonderful confluence of love and hope that brought you into this world on Nov. 26, 2013.

It began with your mom, Laura Brammeier Yoho, a beautiful woman with focused brown eyes, long brown hair and a lean, lithe body from a lifetime of work in the gym and near-perfect nutrition. But her heart beat hardest for the loves of her life, you and your dad.

She met your dad, Nate Yoho, while they both worked at the Aspen Athletic Club on Merle Hay Road in 2007. Your dad played baseball at the University of Iowa and in the minor leagues for the Milwaukee Brewers. He is a hunk with a barrel chest and arms like steel cable, but his strength runs so much deeper than his muscles.

Your mom and dad fell in love. The day they proposed was so special that they re-enacted it on video, and it became a commercial for a local jewelry store. They married in August 2011. If life were a storybook, they would have lived happily ever after. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out that way.

Read the story from July after Laura's death; watch engagement video

Not long after your parents got engaged, your mom got sick. She had brain tumors. She fought them off once, but the disease was aggressive. Your grandpa, Robert “Tim” Yoho, is a doctor. He knew how deadly the disease can be.

At one point before the wedding, Grandpa Tim took your dad aside and said, “Are you sure you don’t want to wait and see how things go with the treatment?”

Your dad, Nate, smiled that easy, confident smile of his. He replied, “Dad, I love her. And every girl deserves a wedding.”

“Right then and there, I knew what kind of man my son had become,” Grandpa Tim would later reflect. “I regretted saying anything at all. You hear about children who look up to their fathers. Well, this is one father who looks up to his son.”

Before your mom had her first round of treatments, she froze some embryos. Those are the cells that are the building blocks for human life. The doctors told your mom and dad that fighting the tumors would make it hard for her body to carry a child. But your parents loved each other and knew they wanted a baby someday.

At a dinner one weekend, your mom casually mentioned to her best friend, Kara Stetson, that she and your father might look for a surrogate mother. A surrogate is another woman who carries a baby for someone who can’t do so on her own.

Your mom and Kara met in elementary school in Wilton. They became best friends in second grade and were inseparable all the way through college at St. Ambrose University and into adulthood.
“It’s hard to explain what having a best friend like Laura for 24 years meant to me,” Kara recalled. “We were different enough and alike enough to get along perfectly. We never argued. We never got sick of one another. We were like sisters, soul mates and a best friend all rolled into one.”

They were so close, in fact, that Kara, who already had two children with her husband, Aaron Stetson, was offended by the notion that Laura would ask anyone other than her to carry her child.
This is a big commitment, Caralyn. Without going into graphic details, it involves sharing a lot of information about your body with people, having to go to the doctor a lot and asking your family to bear with you while you suffer morning sickness and other ills associated with pregnancy.
 There were lighter moments, though.

Kara told her children, who were ages 6 and 9, what she was going to do for her friend. Her son, 9, asked a few questions, shrugged and sort of forgot about it. Her daughter, 6, was thrilled by the idea. She used to talk to you when you were in Kara’s womb. She told others about your surrogate mom.
“She didn’t always get the details quite right,” Kara remembered. “She would say, ‘My mom is having a baby, but it’s not my dad’s’ or ‘My mom is having a baby, but she doesn’t want it.’ We got some strange looks and had to do some fast explaining.”

What’s absolutely certain, what you should never doubt, is that your mom, Laura, really wanted you. She would have carried you herself if she could have, but her body — as fit and strong as she once was — was too weak for a pregnancy.

The tumors in her brain came back. The doctors did everything they could to help your mom. But she got sicker. She struggled to remember words. It got harder for her to walk. She kept hitting the gym. She fought so hard to be here when you were born.

Your mom’s friends hosted a baby shower at your parents’ house back in July 2013, about four months before you were born. That night, your mom got very tired. She went to bed. The next day, she was very sick. The disease was winning.

She died July 23.

Everyone was so sad. Your mom was gone.

But there was hope. You were coming. Your dad anticipated your arrival every day. He grieved for his lost love, but he prepared for his new one — you — just as hard.

Think about this: Your dad lost his wife in July, and you arrived in November, the day before Thanksgiving. In that period, he started his own personal training business and laid out plans to open his own gym.
“
Both Laura and I worked very hard to be in a position where we could support Caralyn and give her security from the day she arrived,” your dad said. “I’m very much a motivated person who sets goals and goes after them.”

You were born about noon on Nov. 26. You weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces and were 21 inches long. You were the biggest baby your surrogate mom, Kara, ever carried. And you came out with a lot of dark brown hair, just like your mom’s.

You quickly landed in the arms of your dad. And he took to being a father as naturally as he roamed the outfield when he was a ballplayer.

“If there’s anybody who has the strength to do this right, to raise Caralyn the way Laura would have wanted, it’s Nate,” Kara said.

Your dad has had plenty of help. Your grandparents, Tim and Donna Yoho, moved in to your dad’s Grimes townhome for a while. They help where they can, but your dad is running the show.
“Sometimes he kicks us out for a while,” your Grandpa Tim remembered.

You and your dad lived with your surrogate, Kara, and her husband, Aaron, for a few days after you were born. And your other set of grandparents, Doug and Lenore Brammeier, visit every few weeks from Wilton. They’ve been doing a lot of driving. Your aunt and uncle had a baby girl, your cousin, just a few weeks before you were born.

Everyone really misses your mom, Caralyn. The hurt is still fresh. She was young and beautiful and strong. And then she was gone. But you came along.

Oh, you weren’t a replacement, not at all. You were you, a whole new person, part your dad, part your mom. Loved by all. But your arrival helped ease the grief.

“It helps having her here,” your Grandma Lenore said. “You’ll never get Laura back, but you get a little bit of her in her daughter.”

Caralyn, your mom died before you drew your first breath. That’s not fair. But you will know her. Your dad has videos. Your grandparents have pictures and stories. And your surrogate mom, Kara, she’s got stories, too. You’ll have to be a little older to hear the ones from college.

Nobody will ever take the place of the mom you didn’t get to meet. But these kind, selfless people are going to make sure you have everything your mom would have wanted you to have.

And what she wanted you to have more than anything in this world is love and hope. The next time you’re at a family gathering, take a look around at the faces of all these people who helped get you here.

That’s when you’ll see and feel your mom the most.

Best wishes,
Daniel P. Finney

Picture Priya and her Cake

Here is a picture of Priya and her Cake, side-by-side:

Priyas Video - 11th Month - Part 2

Here is Priya and her 11th month birthday cake:



Another of Priya's daily task that she must complete.  She likes to pull out the TV plugs and conenctions:



Priya in plastic drawer 1 - 4.  Priya loves to take all the plastic dished and throw them on the ground.:










When Priya gets tired, she pulls a blanket off the sofa and tries to go to sleep.  But she does not want to miss out on any action so she keeps waking up:



Priya playing in the dishwasher:



Priya drinking water.  Nowadays she likes to drink from the bottle or glass directly.  But the bottle is old reliable.:

Priya Videos - 11 Month

Mom wanted some video's of Priya crawling, here they are:



Priya Exploring the kitchen:



Priya from kitchen to laundry room:



Kumo waits for me by the door, so Priya is waiting for me by the door nowadays also:



Priya Stealing Kumo's Snack:



Priya takes out the DVD under the TV everyday.  We put them back and every single day she pulls them out:



Priya Pulling, Pinching and generally annoying Kumo.   She is just lucky that it was not Teddy:



Priya talking a lot.  She is saying something, we just have no clue what it is:



Priya walking with her walker:

Priya's 11th Month Pictures

Here is Priya's 11th Month Birthday Cake:

 Here is Priya's in her new Dress, look I match the cake!

 

Priya Sitting in the dishwasher.  Whenever someone is doing the dishes, Priya will come over and help out by taking all the dishes out of the dishwasher and throwing them on the floor.  Clean or not, she does not care.  Her life's mission is to get those dishes out of the dishwasher.

This is her bouncy and she used to play in it when she was smaller, but we now use it to block the entry into the kitchen but she has gotten smarter and will now crawl inside and come out into the kitchen.  Recently she is so strong she simply pulls or pushes it out of the way.  Does anyone need a virtually new bouncy, we have one we are not using anymore.

We got an earful from my sister and mother on these series of pictures.  They said that we are not showing respect for money and she is sitting on money and stepping on money.  I actually had a bundle of cash (actually it was $6100) and I had it on the top of the sofa and I had just gotten home.

Priya was playing with me and get wanted to get everything off the sofa and throw it on the ground.  I would not give her the money and she cried for a solid 5 minutes with tears rolling down her cheeks and finally I gave her the bundle of cash and she promptly threw it on the ground and then wanted something else to play with.  I gave it to her just so that she will stop crying.  I mean she bawling like her world was about to end type crying. (I think she is going to grow up to be a master manipulator, I feel sorry for her boyfriend(s) and husband)

Picture 1 - I gave her the money and she threw it all over and was staring at one of the bills.
Picture 2 - Priya saying, OK, I am done with that what next
Picture 3 - Priya looking for something else off the sofa to throw on the ground.