Thursday, September 25, 2014

Packing Up and Selling Cars

I have the movers coming on Sunday to take a lot of our stuff to storage.  I am moving a little fast, just so the wife knows I am dead serious on traveling the world for the next few years.

I hate to do it, but I will sell my 2014 Mercedes S550 this month.  I special ordered it from Germany.  It is an Edition 1 model and is so beautiful and is super fun to drive.  This is probably the 2nd favorite car that I have owned.  (My favorite was a Mercedes AMG S500) (3rd favorite was my Mercedes SL500 Convertible).  But when I sell this car, she will know that I am dead serious on this trip.

I think the wife is thinking that I am not serious about this stuff.  But I am dead serious.  We are going to live all over the world for the next few years or until I get bored.  If I get bored we will come back.  Once Priya has to start school we will come back.

I will sell the wife's Lexus LX570 next month and keep only the Cadillac Escalade ESV around for the month of November.  We both work in my office and really do not see many cars anyway.

So if anybody wants either of these cars, give me a call.  I am selling them. 

2014 Mercedes S550 - Edition 1 with Every option - 10,000 Miles
2013 Lexus LX570 - Every Option - 10,000 miles

Both are in perfect condition.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

I remodeled a house

I own a house next to Ramakka.  I mean the very next house, Ramakka lives at 6812 Kingwood and the house I own is at 6810 Kingwood. 

This was the first house that I remodeled myself with all my own ideas and it came out amazingly beautiful.  My sisters son saw it and loved it, so I sold it to him at cost.  These houses are 70 years and older and I basically brought the house back to the studs and redid everything.

I put marble flooring at the entrance, and redid the bathrooms and kitchen to make everything modern.

I made the house into a 5 bedroom and 3 full bathrooms and 2 kitchens and replaced everything.  New Central AC, new Water Heater, New Roof, replaced every dry wall, replaced the drainage in the basement.

I was really proud of the job that I did not that house, it really turned our beautiful.  I could have made a $100,000 profit, but I sold it to Brendan (my sisters son) at cost and am will make nothing on it.

I could swear, how my wife acted and others acted, that I had committed a big crime by not making money.

Life is not always about making money in my view.  If we can keep it in the family and be able to help out Ramakka by keeping Brendan next to her, there is nothing better than that in my view.  Someone needs to be next to Ramakka so that she feels safe as her girls leave the house as they get married and she ages and gets older.  It must be very comforting to her that Brendan lives next door now.  Yes Brendan is living there now, until he officially buys the house sometime in the next few weeks.  We are waiting for the closing date to be finalized.

Songs on Love?

Here are two songs on the subject of Love that I really enjoy, just beautiful songs both of them.

I was transferring movies from DVD to MP4 and I found these 2 songs:

Kundanapu Bomma - The boy has said that he loves the girl, but the girls said let us be friends since she is Christian and her dad will never agree.  They are on a trip from Kerala to Hyderabad and his plan is to make her fall in love with him during the trip.  The scenes on the train are in real life and the rest is how he feels and his imagination.



 Here is Jaane Kyon with English Subtitles - Aamir Kahn does not believe inn Love and asks why people fall in Love and Preeti Zintha talks about how wonderful Love is.









Priya is Junior Jyothi

My daughter is starting to look more and more like my mother.

I call her Junior Jyothi all the time.  She has tremendous energy and goes to bed very late. 

Two nights ago, I could not get that kid to bed.  We watched videos, we played and finally I got tired and put her in her crib at 1:30am.  She cried for a little while so I took her out and put her to bed with me in my bed, she kept trying to get out of bed, so I put her in her crib again.  She cried and after awhile she finally stopped crying so I went to check on her and she was wide awake.  So I put her in my bed with me again and she finally went to bed at 2:30am.  I woke up at 8:30am and I went to check on Priya and that kid was already awake and eating idli's.  Yup, she has boundless energy. 

I can only imagine that she is going to be a terror in school, because she is going to be such a high energy kid.

Junior Jyothi is the perfect name for her.

Whom do you believe and does it even matter?

There are situations in life when you really do not want to learn the truth and I will give 2 examples of that.

Sometimes during a divorce you see massive acrimony and 2 sides to every story.  The girls side will believe the girls side, the boys side will believe the boys side, no matter what lies are told.

Of course everybody will paint a picture of pure innocence to get the most sympathy for their case.  But ultimately, no matter what, you want to believe your side, not matter how preposterous the stories sound.

But then the question come, does it really matter whom you believe? 

I have a cousin that is getting divorced and I would have never imagined that she would be getting divorced.  She was raised in a small town in India, and got an arranged marriage to a kid that was also raised in India but working in USA.  I remember seeing them initially, they would be glued to each other and were super lovey dovey.

I did not get a chance to hear the boys side, since we are from the girls side.  The girls side say that the boy only listens to his mother and not to his wife.  That is the gist of the complaint.

I cannot imagine that someone would be getting divorced over such a small issue.  But that is what you hear from our side.  We are of course going to support our side and believe whatever we hear, because you really do not want to dig and find out the truth.  The girl was working in another town then where her husband worked.  I have my suspensions on why the marriage failed, but why even think of those options.  It is simply easier and better for everybody to simply believe our girls side of the story.

I have a friend that got divorced and it was a love marriage.  The girl looks and acts super innocent and sweet.  Eventually the marriage fell apart over infidelity.

Here is the girls side:

Girl is working and makes a lot of money
The boy used to beat her
The boy blackmailed her into marriage
The boy used to take all the money she made and would not give her anything
The girl never cheated on him
Boy never worked and sat at home watching TV and eating
Girl only cheated once and when she was unhappy in her marriage and that resulted in kids

Here is the boys side:

Girl cheated on him within 1st year of marriage, and this caused him to lose interest in almost everything, including studying for exams.
The kids born during marriage had a different father and the boy did not know until the end of the marriage.
Boy did not work during the marriage much, he never had a chance to build a career since they were moving to help her career.  All the towns they were in were small towns where they was nothing to do.

In story number 2, each side is going to believe their side and there is no way to change their opinions.  Truth does not matter and the only thing that matters is the perception of truth.  Plus when you are looking into the eyes of the girl that you knew as a small girl, and she is telling her side of the story, you are going to believe her, you simply have no other choice.

Let us look at case number 2.  What if the boy really did not beat the girl, or blackmail her into marriage and what if the girl really did cheat on the boy in the first year of marriage and multiple times after that.  What if the boy was a success as soon as the divorce happened when he was able to move to where he had a chance to achieve success?  The truth means that the girl is a WHORE.  You still have to interact with her at parties and other gatherings, she is one of your own.  So trust me, you really do not want to know the truth, it can only damage relationships.

So I guess we will all just have to act like this blind animal and follow along and help our side move on with life, that will be the much easier solution and then going after the truth.  In certain situations you really do not want to learn the truth and these situations listed above are those situations.

Anyway a lot of people are doing what they want, without regard to consequences and Sri Sri (Srirangam Srinivasarao) said of people like this:

If we lose something let it be lost
Friends, well wishers and parents
Let what comes, come along
Hard times, losses, anger, curses

It Telugu it rhymes really well.

So to everybody out there, it looks like you can live how you want to, and be ready to face a few hard times and lose a few friends and well wishers.  But you can choose to live exactly how you want to live as long as you are aware of those consequences.

In conclusion, there are times in your life when you really do not want to know the truth and the above 2 situations are examples of those situations.  You have to live with your side of the family for ever, so why learn the truth, since the truth may only have negative consequences.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Happiness is Elusive

Happiness is such an elusive concept.  There were times of great happiness in my life and I am sure on the surface I should be happy.  So then the questions come to mind, when was I happy? what made me happy? who made me happy?

I guess we need to start the question of why am I unhappy now.

The main reason is my unhappiness with myself.  I am self-destructive in my own health.  The underlying cause of everything almost always comes back to this.  I would say that 90% of my unhappiness comes back to this.

I enjoy going home to my daughter, except for her, I do not like going home.  I do not find it a place of laughter, enjoyment and peace. A lot of times when I am unhappy, I am simply quiet and stay to myself.

Then we need to answer the question of what makes me happy.

I am unsure what actually makes me happy.  I can point to the times of great happiness and the happiest moments in my life were when I was in Bangalore.

I used to love just hanging out with Srinu, Bindu, Sunand or any number of other friends that I had.

I would like to say that I am happy playing cards with my friends, but I cannot.  In the back of my mind I am wondering why the hell am I wasting time.  I should read a book instead, or do something more productive.

So I am unsure where to move forward from this point, so that I can get back to point of happiness and contentment.  A starting point will be to quit my job, so on Dec 31st will be my last day of work.  I was planning on traveling the world for a few years and living in different parts of the world, but I am starting to wonder if this so wise.  Maybe it would be better to based out of Bangalore and then travel on short 2 week trips every month.

I can see why people do crazy things when they are unhappy, because you feel trapped in this place with no escape. 

I was listening to the below song and I guess there is no way to get a point like that anymore.  I think those emotions of pure happiness only come with your first love.



I would like to be like my cousin brother, Venu, and work 30 years and be a responsible dad and husband.  But there is no way I can do that, I feel such a sense of unhappiness and I think in the long run there is nobody to blame except for myself.

I did ask Srinu to look for a place for me in Lavelle Rd, in UB city, and I will likely move there in December and I will make all future plans based on how I feel and day by day.  I guess I can get away being irresponsible for another 2 year, until Priya starts school at which point I have to settle down some where.

I can see my bad attitude is starting to effect my work and I have not been nearly as dedicated as I used to be.  I would never want my employees effected by my unhappiness so from January 1, 2015, Upendra will be taking over my role while I take a break.  I hope this break will re-energize me and I can return a much happier person.