Other Parents

I have heard from lots of parents with daughters how my opinions are totally wrong on this issue of having our Telugu girls marry Telugu boys.

So many of you have pointed out how your daughters have married Non-Telugu boys and have successful marriages.

I am not criticizing your choice for your daughter, I am not saying it is wrong, I am not saying you did something wrong.  I have just stating what I expect for my daughter and how I plan to achieve my goal.

For all the advice I give, I did not even listen to my own advice.  I married a Non-Telugu girl.

When you fall in love, you fall in love and at some point the kids will simply not listen to you and do what they feel is right.

I know a few people who married a Telugu boys and the marriage did not work out, from my generation, my own sister married a Telugu boy and got divorced within just a few years.   Kalpana married a Telugu boy, and that did not work out either. 

So there is no guarantee  of success if someone married a Telugu boy.

But based on my belief system and what I want, I am going to do my best to get my daughter to marry a Telugu boy.  I may or may not succeed, but I will try my best. 

In reality though, when love bites you, you simply do not know who it will be with.

Happiness

I saw the below in Yahoo and I really liked it, I thought I would share this and just to remind myself.

I maintain that, in today's economy, it's easier to start with the happiness, because unlike wealth (which takes time to accumulate), you can increase the amount of happiness in your life within minutes, simply by taking more notice of things that make you happy.

With that in mind, here are ten things that can make you happy immediately, regardless of where you are in the cycle.

1. Life
It's easy to forget that the mere fact of conscious existence--that you are alive--is itself a miracle. As the old saying goes "every day above ground is a good day."

2. Health
Rather than thinking of illness as something bad that happens to you, start thinking of health as something good that's happening to you.

3. Purpose
There is nothing more conducive to long-term happiness than knowing that your actions are making the world a better place.

4. Friendship
Almost everyone has friends, although it's easy to lose track of them in the rush of events. Take a few minutes--today--to reconnect with some of them.

5. Family
If you've got a good relationship with your family, rejoice! You're experiencing one of the deepest sources of happiness on the planet.

6. Self-reliance
Feeling secure that you can count on yourself to accomplish what you set out to accomplish creates a quiet but potent happiness.

7. Community
Having the support of a wider group makes you more aware that you're part of something greater than yourself.

8. Gratitude
Rather than focusing on what you don't have or what's out of reach, be thankful for the wonderful things already in your life.

9. Laughter
It is impossible to laugh and be miserable at the same time. Regular doses of laughter are more than medicine... it's the flavor of life.

10. Love
'Nuff said.
Create these ten things in your life and I guarantee that you'll either become more wealthy or, if not, you won't really care anyway because you'll already have what's important.

Telugu Clan

Somebody was telling me today that there is no way they thought I would be someone that would want their daughter to marry a Telugu boy.

I guess when I was younger I would not have been.

But at this age, I have become someone I never imagined that I could become.

Of course I want my daughter to marry a Telugu boy.  I want her to learn to enjoy the Telugu culture.  From the way the rest of the girls look in family, I am guessing she will be crazy good looking. 

I understand that there is a shortage of Telugu girls in our community already and I am needed in the fight to keep our community strong and growing.

I think, unfortunately, I am going to be a dad that I never imagined I will become.

My daughter will learn to read and write Telugu.
My daughter will go to the temple to learn all those devotional songs.  (This is probably a big injustice, since I myself am not very religious, but I saw a couple of girls singing these devotional songs at the temple while beating this piece of wood on on something, and it was soo cute)
My daughter will go to India and travel all over
My daughter will wear Langa Voni's (Half-sarees are the cutest dresses for girls)
My daughter will only be allowed to date Telugu boys. - I do not care how this sounds
My daughter will never be allowed to lie, no matter what.


I am unsure if I want her to learn Bharatanatyan.
I am unsure on a career for her, so she will have to find out what she wants to do herself.

(More to come, this entry is still in the beginning stages and there will be a significant more to write about here)


 

DC - My Opinion

I have been hanging out in DC for about a month and the big difference in DC since when I was younger, that I have seen, is that everybody thinks that are somebody, everybody has a plan to make millions, and everybody has a plan to get a government contract or government money.

Seems like that sleepy little town I knew is gone and replaced by this huge mob of people that all have big plans and are in a hurry to achieve success.

Every store you go to is a zoo with crazy amounts of people.  I went to Costco in Virgina and there were so many people there.

I do not like DC anymore.  I used to live here when it was this sleepy little town, and that is the DC I remember and love.

Just based on how many more people live in DC, I can guarantee you that we need to cut the size of the government in half.  There is no way we need so many government employees.  I have a few cousin that work for the government and they love their jobs, because they are barely doing anything with almost no pressure. 

The traffic is horrible.  There are way to many new drivers on the roads, that simply do not know how to drive.  Having all these new drivers around is very risky for the rest of the drivers.  I just 1 month in DC, I almost got into accidents twice, all caused by other drivers who were making mistakes.

I actually love Detroit.  Detroit is friendly.  There is no traffic in Detroit.  All the stores are pretty much empty compared to DC.

I for sure will be visiting Detroit a lot, if just to get away from all the craziness that is DC.

I am so Confused - Part 2

I know at my age I can talk pure finances and obviously you can say I am valuing love as nothing.  That is not what I am saying at all.  Happiness and money are almost unrelated and happiness really is what you feel on the inside.  I was happy when I had nothing and I am happy when I am well off.  I loved the struggle when I had nothing.  I guess I am trying to say that I would prefer our girls choose a life that has a more certain path to success.  But I think when you allow girls to date and they fall in love with somebody, then it is too late.  There is no way this girl is going to listen to the parents anymore.

Young girls know almost nothing about life.

If I have a baby girl what are my responsibilities?

I know what I want for her.

To Love Telugu Movies
To Love to visit India and her relatives
To want to marry a Telugu boy
To excel in her education
To be an exceptional athlete

That is what I want for my daughter.  So how do I get this accomplished?

Here is what I was planning:

I was planning on having her stay in India every summer for 3 months during summer vacations
I was planning on hiring the best tutors and coaches for education and sports
I was planning to take her to every good Telugu movie at the theatre
I was planning on keeping her so busy with activities, she will not have time for dating
Do not let her work trivial jobs - I do not see anything to gain from it
Do not allow her to date
Do not allow her to participate in American traditions like Prom etc..
No spending the night over at friends houses.
Send her to an all girls high school
All movies nights with friends or hanging out is OK, but she has to be home by 11 pm, no exceptions
Try and get her married early.  By the age of 22 preferably.  

OK, so that is the list I have come up with so far.

But then the big question comes up, what are my obligations to my Telugu clan?

Why am I insisting that she marry Telugu?  Is this really my job?
No Prom, No dating?  - Am I really that kind of dad?  Must I become that kind of dad?

Now that I am going to be a father, I am more confused than ever on what is right and wrong.

I am so Confused

I was wondering why our Telugu girls are not marrying Telugu boys anymore.  Below is an example of what these girls are thinking.

I found this by an Indian Girl online:

You know---I just thought about it. The other day I was forced to go to temple and there was this booklet there.
The booklet was about how Indian women in USA and Canada do not want to date Indian guys. They said it was becoming a problem that "their women" are running off with foreigners and different men of different races. And I laughed because I am like that.
I am Indian and do not think I could ever get with an Indian guy. I actually dislike the Indian culture very much. If I do get with an Indian guy (When I lose my mind) he has to be light skinned and completely un-attached to the Indian culture. I refuse to marry anyone from India. He has to be US/Canadian born. Why do I say this?
Just look at the OP. Just whining and whining. Indian men are very into themselves and the culture. They think that because they are men, women should bow down to them and do whatever. They are the head of the household and that is that. No questions asked. And they're dark, hairy and smell. It is especially a turn if they have a turban and talk FOB. Why would I go for a man who is dark, talks funny, has a turban, is hairy and unshaven when there are wonderful attractive light skinned boys who are not sexist or talk like a FOB? I have never dated an Indian guy and don't think I plan on it unless he is a very special case.
But nonetheless, I agree with the OP. It does suck to be an Indian man. Indian men are starting to realize what is going on in the US and Canada with "their women" running away from members of their own race.
And I hope it keeps on happening. Indian women have been repressed for a long time. And I refuse to be repressed or told I must marry an Indian guy.

Here was an answer from an Indian Boy to this girl above: (I liked his answer a lot)

Thank you very much for the very insightful stereotypical rant here, it's pretty apparent from your posts that you are a very angry, the supposedly liberal woman who wants to show her liberty by dating people(sleeping around) away from her race, and of course inherently racist with your prejudice against the dark skinned men.
Also, we would be very very happy to see dimwits like you go away from our race, it's not in our best interests to hang on to angry feminists who can't raise a family or a child, and would throw tantrums and blame the man of the household just like you do here, also, wherever you go in this world, man is supposed to be the head of the family, sorry I know it goes against your feminist agenda, but then that's the way nature intended it to be. Even here in the USA, I have never seen a proper family where the mom, dad and children live under one roof where the head of the family is a woman, it's always the man, except of course when there are angry feminists who divorce the man, make him pay through the nose, take the custody of their children away from them and call themselves the head of the broken family, you belong to that club.
Apart from all the above mentioned facts, you talk crap about people that have come into this nation recently by calling him FOB's, you perhaps assume that you have a divine right to claim this nation as your's, sorry to break your ice hun, but this nation is built on immigrants, and more and more of them would continue to come, there's nothing you can do to stop it. Also, in case you have had a proper brain and IQ above 40, you would have known that the OP himself is born and brought up in USA, essentially, an American, NOT an Indian, lol.
Also, even though you might feel happy about the fact that there are some self hating, deeply inferior complexity bearing feminists, the majority of Indian women even here in USA overwhelmingly go for Indian men, and there are quite a few American women who are into Indian men for that reason, I guess that might break your heart, but that's the way it is. Also, I am sure no Indian in his right mind would want to even touch a racist(dark skin hating) and megalomaniac(delusions of women domineering men) excuse of a creature like you, in fact, no man of any race would go for you. It's sad thinking about what a future you have ahead, but you deserve every bit of it.
Regards,
A dark skinned Indian(and proud of it) 

I am not going to criticize this young lady.  She is obviously not attracted to Indian boys and it would be a mistake to force her to get married to one.  I think if her parents had taken her to India more when she was younger it might have been a different story, but at this stage of life it is much too late to convince her otherwise.

But I am going to give you a caveat here.  I saw these girls raised in USA come to India for Medical College and even the ones with the craziest history (At least as far as the rumors we heard), everyone of them married an Indian boy.  So I guess at that age of between 18-22 if you keep these girls in India for an extended period, they will marry Indian boys.  Nobody forced them to marry, but there is obviously something about hormones at that age and having no other choice available.

Kumo's 4th Birthday Cake

Here is a picture of Kumo's 4th birthday cake:

We had a small party for him at the house where some of his friends came over.

I have never seen him get into a fight but one of his friends took his bone and he went and started a fight to get it back.  I seriously did not even think he was capable of fighting.  He is such a sweet kid normally. 

The different color twirly things on the cake are candles.

Rules for my Daughter or Son

I have done so many things wrong that I do not have the time to even list them.  But based on my experience I am going to offer you some advice:

1) Live an Honest and Truthful life. - Even if this path is much harder and longer, it does not matter, follow the path of honesty.

2) Do not write an email or do a search on the internet that you do not others to know about.  Everything you put on the web is stored and findable.  Each search you do, think that I am sitting and watching behind you, would you still do that search or write that email?

3) Be faithful.  A young lady has controls to the honor of her family.  The easiest step is a misstep.  DO NOT be unfaithful no matter what tempting choices are laid out for you.  You want to be thought of as honorable and courageous.  You do not want even one person to think of you as a Whore.  I will be there to support you either way, but I want you to know what is expected of my daughter.

4) Be frugal.  I used to want a Mercedes and after I got one, I could careless about it.  I wanted a Rolex and after I got one, I could careless about it.  Possessions do not matter.  I do not care how much you want something, think it over before you buy it.  I am going to leave you with a lot of money and businesses and I want you to use these to first help yourself, and then when you are comfortable, help others.

5) Be Healthy.  You are a product of your DNA and trust me that you have a terrible DNA.  Your family has heart trouble and Diabetes.  I want you to be healthy your whole life and that starts at an early age and I am going to push you, so that you are healthy.  But you will only be with me for a short time and when you are on your own, I want you to maintain healthy habits.

6) Marry young.  Everything in life becomes so much easier when you marry young.  Trust me on this and try and get married before the age of 25.

7)  Marry someone within 1-2 years of your age.

8) Never marry for money.  Try and find a kind and supportive spouse.

9) I would prefer that you marry a Telugu person, but I do not want you to take this as a life's mission to try and find someone that fits my criteria.  You have to live with someone your entire life and it is very important to find someone that you love.  I may suggest somebody and actively arrange dates, but that is because I feel I am doing the right thing, but ultimately it is your choice.

10) DO not do drugs, it can never lead to any good.  This is an absolute.  If I find that you are doing drugs, I will have to act harshly.

11) My job is to make you a productive member of society and I take that job very seriously.  Your job is to have fun and word hard.

12) Schooling was very easy for me and I never really excelled at it, because I could pass almost anything without even trying.  There is a huge difference in the life styles of people that get straight A's and all the others.  You have extremely brilliant people in your family and I expect that you will be very smart.  I want you to push yourself to get straight A's.  If you need help I will be there to push you and I am doing this not for me, but for you because I know the importance of those perfect A's.

13) You come from a very athletic family and we will have to find a balance between sports and academics.  Your great grandfather and both of your cousins, Brendon and Rekha and I were great athletes in our day.  I will help you with the best coaches and training.  Unlike the rest of the Indian parents who could careless about sports, you will be pushed to excel in both.

14) Do not be afraid to fail.  I have failed in so many things, before I was successful.  Always keep trying.

15) I am new to money and was initially kind of a showoff.  I want you to realize that money is just something to help you lead a comfortable life.  It is not an end goal.  Do not worry about who has what.

16) It only takes one bad apple to deplete a family fortune.  Your grandfather and I will likely leave you significant assets and I am not sure how, but I will come up with a way to protect those assets.  Your great grandfather was given significant assets and he squandered it all away and I will not allow that to happen in this family again.

17) You CANNOT beat the casino, so do not even try.  Play with small amount you can afford to lose and not a penny more.  I would say the max you can play with is one days income in a single day in the casino.

I will write down more things I have learned here over the next few days.

My New Years Resolutions for 2013

I watched a fantastic movie called Jiro Dreams of Sushi.  It is a documentary about the best sushi chef in the world.  Jiro is 85 years old and he still comes to work everyday in his restaurant, Sukiyabashi Jiro.

 What the documentary teaches you is that to be the best at something it takes extraordinary hard work and some god given talent.

Jiro works 12 hours a day and is obsessive about the quality of the ingredients and the methods to prepare them.

So the move got me thinking about wanting to be the best at something.  I believe that VXL Training is one of the best IT training centers in USA, but are we the best, I do not know, but I know that we have vast room for improvements.  So this years resolutions are some personal and some business related.

1) Lose 50 pounds
2) Work with dedication and focus and put in the hours it takes to become the best.
3) Stop spending so much money.
4) Learn to live frugally.

I have lived in the past like I was going to die anytime.  I think I had this feeling that since I was so overweight it was just a matter of time, before I died. So I truly lived life to the fullest.  I wanted to know that even I died tomorrow, I could feel like I had lived a full life.

I know that it is wrong, but that is how I have lived.

Celine Dion - Vegas

I went to the Celine Dion show in Las Vegas and the first 20 minutes was good and then 40 minutes of songs I never heard of and the final 10 minutes was good.

I had a friend tell me that they did not like Celine because she is so fake.  I do not think so.  I think she is great singer and she is exactly that way in real life as she is on stage.

Considering she married someone 26 years older then her and then all the struggles to conceive children and the years of invitro attempts she endured, she is someone who is devoted to her family, there is nothing fake about her.

Considering she is worth hundreds of millions of dollars, I just love the fact that she keeps her family together even with all the struggles of her husbands gambling problems, allegedly, and conception issues.  Simply amazing.

So I am big fan of her music, and I enjoyed her concert, but to be truthful, the Bette Midler show I saw in Vegas in the past was much better.

But Celine, I love that you love your family so much and I will always be there to support you and buy your music.