Halloween Pictures

Here are some Pictures from the Halloween Party

Breakfast Area Decorations.  The Spider on the lights actually lights up and the eyes are red in the dark. 

Kumo dressed up in his costume.  He is a biker dog.

Neeta's good friends, Abhinika from our neighborhood.  She got her whole family to dress up.  She is dressed as a Top Gun Pilot.  They are a fun family and her daughter, Abhika and Priya are best friends.

We celebrated Siri's birthday (Bhavani's Daughter) and here is Priya eating the cake. It was a cute Barbie cake.

Priya's best friend, Abhika.

You Are Not a Good Father

On Saturday we had a Halloween party and we had about 100 people over and it was a great party.

Priya does not go to daycare yet so she rarely interacts with multiple people like she did at that party.

On Monday she had a fever and my mom wanted somethings in India so we went over to Naveen's house to drop them off.  Neeta and Priya wanted to come over also, so all three of us went.

Her fever got a little worse by evening and Neeta gave her Tylenol and put her to bed.

I took a shower and went down and as usual sat on the sofa and picked up my laptop.  Priya came over and sat next to me, which is kind of unusual and her favorite TV show (Daniel Tiger) was ending so I put on a new show for her and it had just started and Priya started having a seizure.  It was one the scariest moments of my life.  I put my finger in her month and asked someone to get me something so that she can bite on, her lips started turning blue and she was biting down super hard on my hand.  Her eyes rolled to the top of her head and it looked like she could not breathe.  After about 1 minutes she stopped and she started turning normal again and I cannot say it if was a convulsion or a seizure, but it was one of them.  I bundled her up into the car and took her to the hospital right away.  Luckily it was only 5 minutes away I got her to the emergency room.

The nurses gave her Tylenol 120, not sure what that means, but that is what they said.  They cath'ed her and took  her blood and after she cooled down they took a chest x-ray and then gave motrin or advil, I forgot.   They gave us a prescription for Anti-biotic's and Tylenol.  They said she has an infection since one of her ears was redder then the other (Inner ear).

Within 2 hours they discharged her and we were back home with Priya smiling and everything normal again.  Priya was sleeping like a little doll when I left for work.

I have to say it was one of the scariest moments of my life as I say my daughter shaking and turning blue.  It is hard to get me rattled, but it brought tears to my eyes.  I thought Priya was going to die in my arms, at least that is how she looked like.  It was terrifying.

Then I thought of something my ex-wife said.  She said that I was a bad father.

I always thought that I did the best I could, but I have never been overly obsessive father.  I do not bathe Priya, I do not feed Priya, I do not change her diapers (I may have changed 10 in my life).  I play with her she comes to me and we hang out, but I guess I was waiting for her grow up a little more  before we can interact together.

I checked the Tylenol that we gave Priya last night and it had expired July 2014.  So my guess is that the medicine might not have been effective and with the high fever she got the seizure.

When we went to the hospital her temperature was 103.7.  I felt her forehead last night and this morning and she did not feel that hot, but then again those haunting words from my ex-wife come back to haunt me.  You are not a good father.

It was an emotional day for me so far and I am happy that Neeta did not see Priya like that having that seizure, I do not think she would have handled it well.

I guess in the end, a lesson is learned and now that Priya is home and safe in bed and her fever in control we can all relax.

 It was a nice when we were checking out of the hospital and Priya was smiling again.  She wanted milk when we got home and we gave it to her, but she held on to the milk and slept.

Packing Up and Selling Cars

I have the movers coming on Sunday to take a lot of our stuff to storage.  I am moving a little fast, just so the wife knows I am dead serious on traveling the world for the next few years.

I hate to do it, but I will sell my 2014 Mercedes S550 this month.  I special ordered it from Germany.  It is an Edition 1 model and is so beautiful and is super fun to drive.  This is probably the 2nd favorite car that I have owned.  (My favorite was a Mercedes AMG S500) (3rd favorite was my Mercedes SL500 Convertible).  But when I sell this car, she will know that I am dead serious on this trip.

I think the wife is thinking that I am not serious about this stuff.  But I am dead serious.  We are going to live all over the world for the next few years or until I get bored.  If I get bored we will come back.  Once Priya has to start school we will come back.

I will sell the wife's Lexus LX570 next month and keep only the Cadillac Escalade ESV around for the month of November.  We both work in my office and really do not see many cars anyway.

So if anybody wants either of these cars, give me a call.  I am selling them. 

2014 Mercedes S550 - Edition 1 with Every option - 10,000 Miles
2013 Lexus LX570 - Every Option - 10,000 miles

Both are in perfect condition.

I remodeled a house

I own a house next to Ramakka.  I mean the very next house, Ramakka lives at 6812 Kingwood and the house I own is at 6810 Kingwood. 

This was the first house that I remodeled myself with all my own ideas and it came out amazingly beautiful.  My sisters son saw it and loved it, so I sold it to him at cost.  These houses are 70 years and older and I basically brought the house back to the studs and redid everything.

I put marble flooring at the entrance, and redid the bathrooms and kitchen to make everything modern.

I made the house into a 5 bedroom and 3 full bathrooms and 2 kitchens and replaced everything.  New Central AC, new Water Heater, New Roof, replaced every dry wall, replaced the drainage in the basement.

I was really proud of the job that I did not that house, it really turned our beautiful.  I could have made a $100,000 profit, but I sold it to Brendan (my sisters son) at cost and am will make nothing on it.

I could swear, how my wife acted and others acted, that I had committed a big crime by not making money.

Life is not always about making money in my view.  If we can keep it in the family and be able to help out Ramakka by keeping Brendan next to her, there is nothing better than that in my view.  Someone needs to be next to Ramakka so that she feels safe as her girls leave the house as they get married and she ages and gets older.  It must be very comforting to her that Brendan lives next door now.  Yes Brendan is living there now, until he officially buys the house sometime in the next few weeks.  We are waiting for the closing date to be finalized.

Songs on Love?

Here are two songs on the subject of Love that I really enjoy, just beautiful songs both of them.

I was transferring movies from DVD to MP4 and I found these 2 songs:

Kundanapu Bomma - The boy has said that he loves the girl, but the girls said let us be friends since she is Christian and her dad will never agree.  They are on a trip from Kerala to Hyderabad and his plan is to make her fall in love with him during the trip.  The scenes on the train are in real life and the rest is how he feels and his imagination.



 Here is Jaane Kyon with English Subtitles - Aamir Kahn does not believe inn Love and asks why people fall in Love and Preeti Zintha talks about how wonderful Love is.

Priya is Junior Jyothi

My daughter is starting to look more and more like my mother.

I call her Junior Jyothi all the time.  She has tremendous energy and goes to bed very late. 

Two nights ago, I could not get that kid to bed.  We watched videos, we played and finally I got tired and put her in her crib at 1:30am.  She cried for a little while so I took her out and put her to bed with me in my bed, she kept trying to get out of bed, so I put her in her crib again.  She cried and after awhile she finally stopped crying so I went to check on her and she was wide awake.  So I put her in my bed with me again and she finally went to bed at 2:30am.  I woke up at 8:30am and I went to check on Priya and that kid was already awake and eating idli's.  Yup, she has boundless energy. 

I can only imagine that she is going to be a terror in school, because she is going to be such a high energy kid.

Junior Jyothi is the perfect name for her.

Whom do you believe and does it even matter?

There are situations in life when you really do not want to learn the truth and I will give 2 examples of that.

Sometimes during a divorce you see massive acrimony and 2 sides to every story.  The girls side will believe the girls side, the boys side will believe the boys side, no matter what lies are told.

Of course everybody will paint a picture of pure innocence to get the most sympathy for their case.  But ultimately, no matter what, you want to believe your side, not matter how preposterous the stories sound.

But then the question come, does it really matter whom you believe? 

I have a cousin that is getting divorced and I would have never imagined that she would be getting divorced.  She was raised in a small town in India, and got an arranged marriage to a kid that was also raised in India but working in USA.  I remember seeing them initially, they would be glued to each other and were super lovey dovey.

I did not get a chance to hear the boys side, since we are from the girls side.  The girls side say that the boy only listens to his mother and not to his wife.  That is the gist of the complaint.

I cannot imagine that someone would be getting divorced over such a small issue.  But that is what you hear from our side.  We are of course going to support our side and believe whatever we hear, because you really do not want to dig and find out the truth.  The girl was working in another town then where her husband worked.  I have my suspensions on why the marriage failed, but why even think of those options.  It is simply easier and better for everybody to simply believe our girls side of the story.

I have a friend that got divorced and it was a love marriage.  The girl looks and acts super innocent and sweet.  Eventually the marriage fell apart over infidelity.

Here is the girls side:

Girl is working and makes a lot of money
The boy used to beat her
The boy blackmailed her into marriage
The boy used to take all the money she made and would not give her anything
The girl never cheated on him
Boy never worked and sat at home watching TV and eating
Girl only cheated once and when she was unhappy in her marriage and that resulted in kids

Here is the boys side:

Girl cheated on him within 1st year of marriage, and this caused him to lose interest in almost everything, including studying for exams.
The kids born during marriage had a different father and the boy did not know until the end of the marriage.
Boy did not work during the marriage much, he never had a chance to build a career since they were moving to help her career.  All the towns they were in were small towns where they was nothing to do.

In story number 2, each side is going to believe their side and there is no way to change their opinions.  Truth does not matter and the only thing that matters is the perception of truth.  Plus when you are looking into the eyes of the girl that you knew as a small girl, and she is telling her side of the story, you are going to believe her, you simply have no other choice.

Let us look at case number 2.  What if the boy really did not beat the girl, or blackmail her into marriage and what if the girl really did cheat on the boy in the first year of marriage and multiple times after that.  What if the boy was a success as soon as the divorce happened when he was able to move to where he had a chance to achieve success?  The truth means that the girl is a WHORE.  You still have to interact with her at parties and other gatherings, she is one of your own.  So trust me, you really do not want to know the truth, it can only damage relationships.

So I guess we will all just have to act like this blind animal and follow along and help our side move on with life, that will be the much easier solution and then going after the truth.  In certain situations you really do not want to learn the truth and these situations listed above are those situations.

Anyway a lot of people are doing what they want, without regard to consequences and Sri Sri (Srirangam Srinivasarao) said of people like this:

If we lose something let it be lost
Friends, well wishers and parents
Let what comes, come along
Hard times, losses, anger, curses

It Telugu it rhymes really well.

So to everybody out there, it looks like you can live how you want to, and be ready to face a few hard times and lose a few friends and well wishers.  But you can choose to live exactly how you want to live as long as you are aware of those consequences.

In conclusion, there are times in your life when you really do not want to know the truth and the above 2 situations are examples of those situations.  You have to live with your side of the family for ever, so why learn the truth, since the truth may only have negative consequences.

Happiness is Elusive

Happiness is such an elusive concept.  There were times of great happiness in my life and I am sure on the surface I should be happy.  So then the questions come to mind, when was I happy? what made me happy? who made me happy?

I guess we need to start the question of why am I unhappy now.

The main reason is my unhappiness with myself.  I am self-destructive in my own health.  The underlying cause of everything almost always comes back to this.  I would say that 90% of my unhappiness comes back to this.

I enjoy going home to my daughter, except for her, I do not like going home.  I do not find it a place of laughter, enjoyment and peace. A lot of times when I am unhappy, I am simply quiet and stay to myself.

Then we need to answer the question of what makes me happy.

I am unsure what actually makes me happy.  I can point to the times of great happiness and the happiest moments in my life were when I was in Bangalore.

I used to love just hanging out with Srinu, Bindu, Sunand or any number of other friends that I had.

I would like to say that I am happy playing cards with my friends, but I cannot.  In the back of my mind I am wondering why the hell am I wasting time.  I should read a book instead, or do something more productive.

So I am unsure where to move forward from this point, so that I can get back to point of happiness and contentment.  A starting point will be to quit my job, so on Dec 31st will be my last day of work.  I was planning on traveling the world for a few years and living in different parts of the world, but I am starting to wonder if this so wise.  Maybe it would be better to based out of Bangalore and then travel on short 2 week trips every month.

I can see why people do crazy things when they are unhappy, because you feel trapped in this place with no escape. 

I was listening to the below song and I guess there is no way to get a point like that anymore.  I think those emotions of pure happiness only come with your first love.



I would like to be like my cousin brother, Venu, and work 30 years and be a responsible dad and husband.  But there is no way I can do that, I feel such a sense of unhappiness and I think in the long run there is nobody to blame except for myself.

I did ask Srinu to look for a place for me in Lavelle Rd, in UB city, and I will likely move there in December and I will make all future plans based on how I feel and day by day.  I guess I can get away being irresponsible for another 2 year, until Priya starts school at which point I have to settle down some where.

I can see my bad attitude is starting to effect my work and I have not been nearly as dedicated as I used to be.  I would never want my employees effected by my unhappiness so from January 1, 2015, Upendra will be taking over my role while I take a break.  I hope this break will re-energize me and I can return a much happier person.

Ted Talks

When you guys have free time you all should really take time to visit this website and learn:

https://www.ted.com/talks/browse

They have tremendous learning opportunities.  I try and watch one video a day.  Sometimes I go home and see the family doing nothing productive but watching Soap Operas or Entertainment Sitcoms.  There are a few that I love also.  But I also believe that everyday should be a chance to learn something new and you should strive for that.  Read a book, watch Ted Talks, Read a Newspaper, do something that allows you to learn.  To all of you, keep learning something new everyday.  I cannot imagine life without continuously learning.

Here is a summary of what they are about:

TED is a nonprofit devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). TED began in 1984 as a conference where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged, and today covers almost all topics — from science to business to global issues — in more than 100 languages. Meanwhile, independently run TEDx events help share ideas in communities around the world.

Video of All the Pictures from Priya's 1st Birthday Party

Here is the video of all the pictures from Priya's first birthday party.  I figured it would be easy to share the pictures this way:

When I embed the video the blog is taking way to long to load, so here is the link for the video on Youtube.  The video is 50 minutes long which is why it is taking so long to load as an embedded video:

http://youtu.be/h6x23MxSF18

Pictures from Priyas Birthday

Here are a few pictures from Priyas Birthday.  A lot of pictures did not make it, because there were too large and the blogger website would not allow them.  So here are a few of the pictures from the party.

This is Priya, Niki and her Grandmother.  Niki and Priya have matching dresses.

Priya with Daddy and Mommy.

Priya and her Mom's Family

Priya with Ramakka and the Girls

Brendan and His Grandfather. 

 

Priya sitting on the table so that she can blesses by her elders.  She sat quietly for about 10 minutes and then decided she had enough.

 
 Priya with her Dad's best friend.  Dr Bobby and his Beautiful Wife Ami.

Priya with her cousins on her moms side

Priya with her Uncle Upendra and Usha

One of two main Ice Sculptures

This was the balloon guy that greeted guests as they entered the hall

This was the other main ice sculpture.  A little girl blowing out a candle on a cup cake.

Priya's Birthday Cake

Akhil, his wife and more relatives from Priyas Mom Side.

Priya with Venanna and his family

Priya with Dr Bhavani and her family.  They are not our relatives, but they sure feel like our relatives.

Vikram, Haritha, Esha - More of your cousins Priya from your fathers side.  They flew in from CA to be with you.  They are awesome.  I wish I could have spent more time with them.

Here is Rohan (Murli's son) and Yesh (Naveen's son) who danced like crazy all night long.

Priya's First Step

Here is Priya taking her first step:

Here is Priya taking her first steps.  Anisha was walking behind her and practicing walking and then she let go.  Priya stood there for a long time and then finally took a step and the girls (Anisha, Aneela, Anjali, Niki, and Rekha) all started screaming and Priya got scared (You see her legs shaking), and then she cried took a few more steps to her mom.

Advice to Priya

I always wanted to write to you and give you advice about what I have learned.  So here goes.

Health:

You will hear it all the time.  "Health is your most important asset."  I have to emphasize to you that this is by far the most important lesson to learn.  I have not done it and I pay the price at age 49.  When I was younger all I did was want to play basketball, all the time.  Being 300 pounds now, I am sure that the only reason I am even alive now is because of how much I used to play basketball when I was younger.

Once you get older you will tend to work more and tend to play less.  This should be done exactly inverse.  Try and pick up a sport, Tennis, Golf, Hiking, Bicycling, the choices are endless, and then try and play as much as you can.  This will be the key to a health life.  As is, you have crappy genes.  Most of the family has diabetes and tend to be on the larger side, so you have to be extra careful.

I did not do this and I do not want you to make the same mistake as I did.  I will emphasize this again, "Health is your most important Asset."  Nothing else even comes close to this.

Money:

I grew up in a very middle class lifestyle and I had rather ordinary dreams.  I never thought that I would live much beyond 60 (because of I was massively overweight), so my whole life I lived with that assumption and I lived a luxurious lifestyle. I make a lot of money now, but there is a saying, "It is now how much you make, it is how much you save, THAT is what you make."

This is so true, I have always been a terrible saver.  In fact I would say that I am a bit of a spendthrift.  So I would like for you to live a life without debt.  Buy a house with cash, buy a car with cash.  Your most important mission is to live without any debt.

So remember if you make a $100,000, that is not actually correct.  At the end of the year, how much did you save of that $100,000, that is what you made.

Stuff:

The world has become much commercialized, and the messages they are sending you is that you want this and that.   It may be a Gucci purse or maybe Manolo Blahnik Shoes.  For me at least it was a Rolex and a Mercedes.  I was able to afford it in my 30's and I bought it, but you know what after the first 1 week of excitement, I could care less about it, I gave the Rolex to my dad and I have been through multiple Mercedes, but nothing gave me the pleasure you would think would come from possessing it.    Let me give you some advice, do not waste your money chasing luxury, you will hardly care about it after you worked so hard to get it.  Do not fall into this trap.  It is simply an endless cycle.

Instead of stuff, learn to enjoy experiences instead.  Go hike the Himalayas rather buy buying something, it will give you infinitely more pleasure.

I am not saying not to buy what you need.  Go ahead and buy it, but be reasonable in your wants, that is all.  I was not and I hoping you learn this lesson from me.

Lifestyle:

We have a lot of assets now, but had I been even a little bit judicious, we would be very rich.  But like I said, that was never a dream of mine.  I wanted to enjoy life and have fun and I felt like I did that.  I did things that people can only dream about.  I lived on a beach for 6 months, in a super luxurious house.  I had parties there almost every night.  I acted in movies.  I traveled all over the world.  Really stuff of dreams.  I had a great life.

Unlike me, you have been born into a rich family.  Your mission in life is to enjoy yourself and find something to do that you enjoy.  Each of us has different talents and your mission is to find yours and develop that.  Since you will be entrusted with significant money, your job is to protect that money for future generations.  I do not want you to use that money as a crutch so that you do nothing, that would the worst thing you could do.  Be a teacher, engineer, doctor, or even an actress, I do not care, but do it with passion and fire and be the best at it that you can be.  That is what would make me proud.

But this does not mean that I will accept mediocrity from you.  If you work hard and still fail at something, I am fine with that.  But laziness is something that will not be accepted.  I was extremely smart and I accepted mediocrity in myself and I will not accept that from you.  I will provide the best help for you, in case you have trouble in anything.  I know this is a double standard, but like I said, I will not allow you to be anything but the best that you can be.

Honesty:

I have lied, stolen, cheated.  I am not saying that I did it all the time, but I have done these things.  These are things that weigh on me to this day.  So here in my advice to you; Never Lie, Never Cheat, Never Steal.  I do not mean for one year, I mean your whole life.  Keep every decision you make with the three mantras; Do not lie, Do not cheat, Do not steal.  There are of course lots more DO NOT's, but you get the idea.  I want you to have values and live your life within those values, no matter how hard that decision would be.

I remember every bad decision that I have ever made and every one of those decisions still haunt me.  I do not want to have burdens like that.  I used to justify what I did by saying that only the rich can afford to be virtuous, but that is not true.  If you choose to do it, you can.

Drugs and Alcohol:

Nowadays Marijuana is legal in a lot of states, so I am unsure what to advice you on this subject.  I have tried Marijuana, Alcohol, Cigarettes, and X.  But I did not enjoy any of them and none of those things gave me as much pleasure as playing a game of pickup basketball.  I have friends that are in positions of trust, Doctors and Big time CEO's that still do drugs and are able to function normally.  I do not do drugs and I do not enjoy alcohol but I am hardly anyone to say what is right or wrong.  I would prefer that you enjoy life in other ways.  Never do hard drugs, they will simply sap your will and drive to accomplish things.

Life is really about moderation.  So drink a few glasses of wine, I do not see any issue in that.  Drink until you pass out, that is wrong.

Family and Friends:

I have friends that are like family to me.  I have family that are almost strangers to me.  I also have family that act like a family should act.  You will hear all the time that, "family is most important thing."  I am ambivalent to this statement.  My friends have helped me when I had nothing and helped me grow to where I am now.  When I was down, all the family did was point and say, do not be like him.  Now that I am successful (In their terms, not mine), they point and say to be like me.

Like I mentioned, you will have significant money under your control and maybe approached by friends and family for help.  Try and help where you can, but one of the hardest things to say is NO, and you will have to learn to say it.  People make bad decisions and you need to let people learn from their bad decisions.  Be there to help when they have truly fallen and cannot get up. Here are some examples of decisions that I have gotten into and what I did.  You will likely come across situation like this and you will have to make your own decisions on if you would like to help or not.

My friend a doctor wanted a loan of $50,000 to fight a lawsuit - I gave it to him, because he had significant assets and simply had a cash crunch since his bank account was frozen.  He did pay this back.

A family member wanted to borrow $10,000 to fund a new business - I gave it to him, because he provided me the invoices and explained the business and it sounded reasonable to me.  I did not get this back.   - I am not very tough when it comes to collection with family, and I knew they were in trouble, so I let it go.  In situations like this, when the money is insignificant, I want to just forget about it.  Do not let money haunt you or feel that they cheated you.  Remember when people are under financial pressure, they will do anything to get money from you.  You will have to learn to say NO.  I should have said NO in this situation, but I wanted to believe their story and was hoping that with the $10,000 they get back on their feet.  I guess it was a case of wanting to believe that it was true.

A friend wanted money to pay his wife's last year of medical college and he said that without that payment the college would give her degree and she could not start a residency that she was accepted for.  I gave him $17,000.  He paid interest for a few months then he disappeared.  I later wrote a story in my blog about him and he called me within a few days and begged me to take it down, since he did not his family reading about it.  He promised to pay me back, saying that he was tight.  He finally did pay back $15,000 but his interest is still pending.  His wife is a doctor making significant money, but he still has not paid it back.  Recently be begged me for $3000 and he said that he would pay it back in 1 month, but it has been 3-4 months and he paid back $1000.  I should have been strong to say NO, but I did not.  I hope you are stronger than me in situations like this.  I gave the money because I put myself in his shoes.  If someone helped me like that I would make it a point to pay this back.  But each of have circumstances and events may overtake us and not allow us to pay back what we owe.

A friend wanted money to start a business.  I gave him $100,000.  He gave me 20% ownership in the business.  I also raised another $70,000 from other friends when the business needed more money.  This friend if one of the hardest working people that I know, but what he is terrible at is communication.   He has never sent out one update on the company.  He has never provided financials to show where the company is at.  When you invest in a business I want to to 2 things.  I want you to invest in a business because you trust the individual.  I DO NOT want you to invest if you do not trust them 100%.  There is nothing more important than the integrity and trust in the person running the business.  I also want you to get in writing that you will be provided every year a complete financial records and if you are not the investment becomes a demand note payable immediately.  I did not do this and I do not want you to have to face a situation like this.

There are lots more, but you get the idea.  Learn to say NO, it will one of the most important lessons that you learn.

Sex and Relationships:

I actually started rather late in life to show interest in girls.  I would much rather have played a game of basketball then go out on a date when I was in High School.  I did start to develop more interest in girl in college, but by that time I was around 300-330 pounds and then it because clear that girls were not interested in me.  I used to play a lot, but I never did lose that much weight.

My first real girlfriend was my ex-wife.  She was fantastic as a girlfriend.  We dated for 5 years and were married for a little over 10 years.  I will not go into her details much here.

So what are my views on, in your case, when you can have a boyfriend?

I am unsure on this and my guess would how mature you are and if it helping or harming you in achieving your goals.  But as a general rule, I feel like you should be at least 16 before you have a relationship.

When can you have sex?

Hummm.  I am so unsure about this.  Sex is nothing more than nature providing you with hormones that make you want have sex for procreation.  But I can tell you one thing, sex was so different when you are GF and BF relationship and when you are married.  So I am not going to say no sex until you are married, but this again comes down to maturity and how you handle this. I do not think I have a rule for this, but I would hope that you wait until you are 18.  I am sure that everyone in the family will disagree with me on this.

Who should you marry?

Most of your cousins consider Indian Boys unattractive.  I would prefer that you marry a nice Telugu Indian boy.  But this is such a personal decision.  You have to live with the consequences of that decision your whole life.  So be wise, but here a few things I suggest that you look for:  He should be fit (not like you dad at all), well educated, have strong values, and would never hit a women.

So I would prefer that you marry a Telugu boy and I will surround you with them, but the choice is yours.

I am sure there is more to write on this subject, and I continue this later.

Family Honor:

You as a women will control the honor of your family.  Your actions alone will define the honor of your family.  The most important thing in your life should be your family, above everything else and by this I mean, your husband and your kids.

This is not to say that if you fail and need our help we will not be there.  I will unequivocally say that we will be here to help you no matter what you do.  You could call us at any time and we will be there for you.  We may not approve of your actions, but we will be there to pick you up and help you, no matter what.

Emotions:

I am not very emotional so you will not see a lot of overtly emotional displays.  As I get older a lot of things bring me to tears, but I can usually control myself, emotionally at least.  I think in the end this has become a handicap in a sense for me.  But I can guarantee you that you are well loved and we will always be there for you.

I will never hit you no matter what you do.  I will explain what is right and wrong and hopefully you will learn.

Here are  questions that were asked by your cousins, so I hope that they might apply to you:

At what age can I have a boyfriend?

Again I am unsure of a specific age, but my guess would be that 16 might be general guideline, but it would really depend on your specific maturity level and after having a boyfriend is it affecting you positively.  If I see that having a boyfriend has affected you negatively then you will lose that privilege.

Shall I work a job?

I do not see anything to gain by working while you are in school.  Your circumstances have made you fortunate so that you do not need to work and I prefer that you put 100% of your energy into your school activities be it educational, athletic or otherwise.   If you have so much free time, I prefer you do volunteer work and help the community somehow.

How should I look, makeup? Weight?

I have been overweight most of my life, so I am acutely aware of the costs to me.  I will push you to be fit and strong since I do not want you to have any health issues.  I know nothing about makeup and I cannot really advise on this.  But makeup does not make you beautiful.  In the end it is your spirit, your values, and your intellect that make you beautiful.

Do what you need to do so that you feel and look beautiful if that is important to you.

As a father will you be my friend or something else?

I am not really much of a father.  I doubt I will be tough on you, but I also doubt that I will be a friend.  My mission in life is to make you into a productive member of society and I will do whatever it takes for you to become this productive member of society. I will try and stay consistent on my decisions so that you know exactly what I want from you.

What can I do to make you proud of me?

All I need from you is to become a productive member of society.   I just do not want for you to be a drug addict or someone that does nothing because you have money.

Even if you fail, I will be proud of you as long as you have tried your best.

A Special Delivery

The below letter was written by a grandfather, when his grandchild was born.  It brought me to tears.

Dear Caralyn,


You’re barely a month old now, too young to read this letter. But one day soon, someone will show you this, and maybe it will help you understand the wonderful confluence of love and hope that brought you into this world on Nov. 26, 2013.

It began with your mom, Laura Brammeier Yoho, a beautiful woman with focused brown eyes, long brown hair and a lean, lithe body from a lifetime of work in the gym and near-perfect nutrition. But her heart beat hardest for the loves of her life, you and your dad.

She met your dad, Nate Yoho, while they both worked at the Aspen Athletic Club on Merle Hay Road in 2007. Your dad played baseball at the University of Iowa and in the minor leagues for the Milwaukee Brewers. He is a hunk with a barrel chest and arms like steel cable, but his strength runs so much deeper than his muscles.

Your mom and dad fell in love. The day they proposed was so special that they re-enacted it on video, and it became a commercial for a local jewelry store. They married in August 2011. If life were a storybook, they would have lived happily ever after. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out that way.

Read the story from July after Laura's death; watch engagement video

Not long after your parents got engaged, your mom got sick. She had brain tumors. She fought them off once, but the disease was aggressive. Your grandpa, Robert “Tim” Yoho, is a doctor. He knew how deadly the disease can be.

At one point before the wedding, Grandpa Tim took your dad aside and said, “Are you sure you don’t want to wait and see how things go with the treatment?”

Your dad, Nate, smiled that easy, confident smile of his. He replied, “Dad, I love her. And every girl deserves a wedding.”

“Right then and there, I knew what kind of man my son had become,” Grandpa Tim would later reflect. “I regretted saying anything at all. You hear about children who look up to their fathers. Well, this is one father who looks up to his son.”

Before your mom had her first round of treatments, she froze some embryos. Those are the cells that are the building blocks for human life. The doctors told your mom and dad that fighting the tumors would make it hard for her body to carry a child. But your parents loved each other and knew they wanted a baby someday.

At a dinner one weekend, your mom casually mentioned to her best friend, Kara Stetson, that she and your father might look for a surrogate mother. A surrogate is another woman who carries a baby for someone who can’t do so on her own.

Your mom and Kara met in elementary school in Wilton. They became best friends in second grade and were inseparable all the way through college at St. Ambrose University and into adulthood.
“It’s hard to explain what having a best friend like Laura for 24 years meant to me,” Kara recalled. “We were different enough and alike enough to get along perfectly. We never argued. We never got sick of one another. We were like sisters, soul mates and a best friend all rolled into one.”

They were so close, in fact, that Kara, who already had two children with her husband, Aaron Stetson, was offended by the notion that Laura would ask anyone other than her to carry her child.
This is a big commitment, Caralyn. Without going into graphic details, it involves sharing a lot of information about your body with people, having to go to the doctor a lot and asking your family to bear with you while you suffer morning sickness and other ills associated with pregnancy.
 There were lighter moments, though.

Kara told her children, who were ages 6 and 9, what she was going to do for her friend. Her son, 9, asked a few questions, shrugged and sort of forgot about it. Her daughter, 6, was thrilled by the idea. She used to talk to you when you were in Kara’s womb. She told others about your surrogate mom.
“She didn’t always get the details quite right,” Kara remembered. “She would say, ‘My mom is having a baby, but it’s not my dad’s’ or ‘My mom is having a baby, but she doesn’t want it.’ We got some strange looks and had to do some fast explaining.”

What’s absolutely certain, what you should never doubt, is that your mom, Laura, really wanted you. She would have carried you herself if she could have, but her body — as fit and strong as she once was — was too weak for a pregnancy.

The tumors in her brain came back. The doctors did everything they could to help your mom. But she got sicker. She struggled to remember words. It got harder for her to walk. She kept hitting the gym. She fought so hard to be here when you were born.

Your mom’s friends hosted a baby shower at your parents’ house back in July 2013, about four months before you were born. That night, your mom got very tired. She went to bed. The next day, she was very sick. The disease was winning.

She died July 23.

Everyone was so sad. Your mom was gone.

But there was hope. You were coming. Your dad anticipated your arrival every day. He grieved for his lost love, but he prepared for his new one — you — just as hard.

Think about this: Your dad lost his wife in July, and you arrived in November, the day before Thanksgiving. In that period, he started his own personal training business and laid out plans to open his own gym.
“
Both Laura and I worked very hard to be in a position where we could support Caralyn and give her security from the day she arrived,” your dad said. “I’m very much a motivated person who sets goals and goes after them.”

You were born about noon on Nov. 26. You weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces and were 21 inches long. You were the biggest baby your surrogate mom, Kara, ever carried. And you came out with a lot of dark brown hair, just like your mom’s.

You quickly landed in the arms of your dad. And he took to being a father as naturally as he roamed the outfield when he was a ballplayer.

“If there’s anybody who has the strength to do this right, to raise Caralyn the way Laura would have wanted, it’s Nate,” Kara said.

Your dad has had plenty of help. Your grandparents, Tim and Donna Yoho, moved in to your dad’s Grimes townhome for a while. They help where they can, but your dad is running the show.
“Sometimes he kicks us out for a while,” your Grandpa Tim remembered.

You and your dad lived with your surrogate, Kara, and her husband, Aaron, for a few days after you were born. And your other set of grandparents, Doug and Lenore Brammeier, visit every few weeks from Wilton. They’ve been doing a lot of driving. Your aunt and uncle had a baby girl, your cousin, just a few weeks before you were born.

Everyone really misses your mom, Caralyn. The hurt is still fresh. She was young and beautiful and strong. And then she was gone. But you came along.

Oh, you weren’t a replacement, not at all. You were you, a whole new person, part your dad, part your mom. Loved by all. But your arrival helped ease the grief.

“It helps having her here,” your Grandma Lenore said. “You’ll never get Laura back, but you get a little bit of her in her daughter.”

Caralyn, your mom died before you drew your first breath. That’s not fair. But you will know her. Your dad has videos. Your grandparents have pictures and stories. And your surrogate mom, Kara, she’s got stories, too. You’ll have to be a little older to hear the ones from college.

Nobody will ever take the place of the mom you didn’t get to meet. But these kind, selfless people are going to make sure you have everything your mom would have wanted you to have.

And what she wanted you to have more than anything in this world is love and hope. The next time you’re at a family gathering, take a look around at the faces of all these people who helped get you here.

That’s when you’ll see and feel your mom the most.

Best wishes,
Daniel P. Finney

Picture Priya and her Cake

Here is a picture of Priya and her Cake, side-by-side:

Priyas Video - 11th Month - Part 2

Here is Priya and her 11th month birthday cake:



Another of Priya's daily task that she must complete.  She likes to pull out the TV plugs and conenctions:



Priya in plastic drawer 1 - 4.  Priya loves to take all the plastic dished and throw them on the ground.:










When Priya gets tired, she pulls a blanket off the sofa and tries to go to sleep.  But she does not want to miss out on any action so she keeps waking up:



Priya playing in the dishwasher:



Priya drinking water.  Nowadays she likes to drink from the bottle or glass directly.  But the bottle is old reliable.:

Priya Videos - 11 Month

Mom wanted some video's of Priya crawling, here they are:



Priya Exploring the kitchen:



Priya from kitchen to laundry room:



Kumo waits for me by the door, so Priya is waiting for me by the door nowadays also:



Priya Stealing Kumo's Snack:



Priya takes out the DVD under the TV everyday.  We put them back and every single day she pulls them out:



Priya Pulling, Pinching and generally annoying Kumo.   She is just lucky that it was not Teddy:



Priya talking a lot.  She is saying something, we just have no clue what it is:



Priya walking with her walker:

Priya's 11th Month Pictures

Here is Priya's 11th Month Birthday Cake:

 Here is Priya's in her new Dress, look I match the cake!

 

Priya Sitting in the dishwasher.  Whenever someone is doing the dishes, Priya will come over and help out by taking all the dishes out of the dishwasher and throwing them on the floor.  Clean or not, she does not care.  Her life's mission is to get those dishes out of the dishwasher.

This is her bouncy and she used to play in it when she was smaller, but we now use it to block the entry into the kitchen but she has gotten smarter and will now crawl inside and come out into the kitchen.  Recently she is so strong she simply pulls or pushes it out of the way.  Does anyone need a virtually new bouncy, we have one we are not using anymore.

We got an earful from my sister and mother on these series of pictures.  They said that we are not showing respect for money and she is sitting on money and stepping on money.  I actually had a bundle of cash (actually it was $6100) and I had it on the top of the sofa and I had just gotten home.

Priya was playing with me and get wanted to get everything off the sofa and throw it on the ground.  I would not give her the money and she cried for a solid 5 minutes with tears rolling down her cheeks and finally I gave her the bundle of cash and she promptly threw it on the ground and then wanted something else to play with.  I gave it to her just so that she will stop crying.  I mean she bawling like her world was about to end type crying. (I think she is going to grow up to be a master manipulator, I feel sorry for her boyfriend(s) and husband)

Picture 1 - I gave her the money and she threw it all over and was staring at one of the bills.
Picture 2 - Priya saying, OK, I am done with that what next
Picture 3 - Priya looking for something else off the sofa to throw on the ground.

Bed Time

Priya does not like to go to bed and even though she is rubbing her eyes and is generally super tired she will not fall asleep int he living room.

So everyday when we know she is tired we take her and put her in her crib and she will cry for about 10 minutes and boom she is asleep.

A day ago we did the same thing.  She was sucking on her binky and there another one in her crib.  We woke up in the morning and both of the binkys were near the door.  That means she was so mad she took the binky from her mouth and threw it across the entire room to her door and then picked up other binky in the crib and threw that one also.

We were like wow, girl has got a temper.  Normally she is super happy and you would not expect someone like her to get angry.

Priya 10th Month Videos

Priya likes to eat by herself.  Here she is eating cheerios type of food:



Here is Kump looking after Priya.  If no one is around and she is in the crib he will come by and look after her.  Even if she is crying he will come by and see what the issue is.

Priya 10th Month Pictures

Here is Priya's 10th Month Birthday Cake:

Of course Priya put her hand in the cake which is red frosting and it got everywhere, including her lips and her cheek.

This is Priya in the DC house.  We got a new dining table and Priya loves to play in and with boxes

This is Priya Picture with her Manning Jersey for the Super Bowl.  Thank goodness her daddy could not find anyone to bet with or he would have lost money.

What is wrong with the Broncos?  I am so worried.

Priya and Kumo Sharing a Dosa with Daddy

Kumo used to come and sit with me every morning and we would share 3 Dosa's everyday, one bit for Kumo and one bite for me.  Now that Priya can walk, she comes over and hangs next to me and I share my Dosa's with both of my kids now:

Priya Eating Mango

Here is Priya eating a mango.  The first piece was sweet and she really enjoyed.  This second piece was sour and you can see what she did.

Priya's 9th Month Video's

This is Priya after eating Idli, she is so happy.  Her mom and her playing:



Priya hates puppu and rice.  She just spits it out and will such a fuss when she has to eat it:



This is Shoba and Priya.  Priya is just laughing and laughing:



Priya standing by holding on to a wall:



Here is Priya in her Ewok outfit:



Kumo is so jealous that any chance he gets he will go and stand in between Neeta and Priya so that he gets all the attention:



Priya crawled all the way to the laundry room just to go and say Hi to Kumo.  The laundry room and living room are pretty far in our house and she went super fast to hang with Kumo:

Priya 9th Month Pictures

Priya and Shreya on Priya's 9th Month Birthday.  It was supposed to be a Ballerina Cake, but I thought it sucked. 

Here is the closeup of the Cake.  A Ballerina Cake, I do not think so, a southern belle with a corset on with a dress, maybe, but ballerina cake, no way.

Priya has awesome flexibility and  loves to suck on her own feet.

Priya loves climbing the sofa.  If you look on the far edge of the sofa you will see a ledge that the sofa has and she will stand on the ledge and see what is happening in the kitchen.

Here is Priya as a Ewok.  An Ewok was a character in the movie Star Wars.

Priya loves to pull hair and here she is pulling Shrekar's hair.

Priya loves persimmons.  Here she is eating and sucking on one.

Kumo and Priya

I would have thought that Kumo and Priya would have been better friends than they are.

Neeta will bring Priya downstairs from her room and Kumo will come over right away to try and get attention from Neeta.  He does not care about me playing with Priya so much, but he gets super jealous when Neeta is playing with her.

Nowadays when Priya is playing, Kumo will go and stand in between them.

This is when you know that dogs have the same emotions as humans.  He is so jealous and when I yell at him he will stay still while Priya pulls his tail and crawls on him and over him.

Finally he will not be able to stand it any longer and then we will get up and go away to another part of the house.

It is so interesting to see the dynamic.  I am waiting for Priya to get older, I am 100% sure that those two will be best friends.

Kumo's 5th Birthday

Here are pictures from Kumo's 5th birthday:

Here is Kumo with his Doggy Cake from 3 Dog Bakery.  Surprisingly he only ate 2 pieces and did not eat the rest.  Our little boy is now 5 years old.

I was just hoping that the poor kid would not burn his whiskers or fur.  Neeta lit the 5 candles and  Kumo was getting closer and closer to the fire.  I was expecting to hear a little yelping as he got burned, but Neeta blew them out and the crisis was averted.

I know what Kumo must be thinking.  Here I am a majestic Akita and I have this silly hat on my head.  I am sure he liked his gold necklace, but a hat I doubt it.

Here is a close up of the cake

Priya 8th Month Videos

Priya learned to make some new noises, here she is.  It almost sounds like she is choking on something, but it is just some weird noise she is making nowadays.  For a while she learned to make some noises like a bird and she made those for awhile.  Now it is this noise:




Here is Priya Crawling Full Speed.  She took a long time to crawl, but when she figured it out, she is a handful.  She goes right to where Kumo is.



Here is the song that we sing at end of the swim lesson.



Here is Priya getting dipped underwater.  The video does not do any justice to the expression on her face.  She is so cute and funny when she gets back out of the water:



Here is Priya going after Kumo's bone.  He actually barks at the end of video at her, but she still goes right to Kumo and his bone.  That was only time that he barked at her.  After that I yelled at him, he has never done it again.  To this day if he is crying I can just take her and put her in front of Kumo and she will stop crying and laugh like crazy.  She just loves Kumo.




Priya playing in her Exersaucer.  I put this video up, because The screaming that she does at the beginning is what she does when she wakes up in the morning.  She is so happy she just screams out of happiness.  She will do that for about 30 minutes everyday.



Priya has a ton of toys but give her a few bowls and a spoon and she is so happy.  You can take the girl out of India, but you cannot take the Indian out of the girl:



Here is Priya playing with the Christmas Tree.  She was laughing like crazy on the day that her cousin Nikki was putting up the tree.



She started standing in her crib so I finally had to move the crib all the way to the bottom level, otherwise she would have tried to get out and fall.  Ok I did not do it, but I got it done, isn't that want really counts:



This is Priya on her Styrofoam boat.  Daddy is the motor and I push her around while she hangs on:



Priya is learning to walk by holding on to the sofa and then she goes sideways by holding on to the sofa.  Then she will get tired and either let go and fall on her butt or try to hold on with one hand and then fall when she loses her balance.

Priya 8th Month Pictures

It has been a long time and all the relatives have been complaining that I have not put any pictures of Priya up, so here they are:


We went to professional photo studio and here are our Christmas photo:

 

To get Priya to laugh like this the photographer would take a piece of cardboard and move it in front of her so that it would swoosh some air on her face and she would laugh like this.

This was our first swim lesson at Goldfish.  They would make me pour water on her head with a cup so that she can get used to the water on her head.  She still does not like it and will shake her head and give such a pitiful expression.  She is funny.

This is a picture of her 8th Month Birthday cake.  It was cut 2 days late and obviously the cakes are getting less extravagant as she gets older.  I think it is time to stop the monthly birthday nonsense.

Sunitha, Shriya and SM feeding her the cake.  She loved it.  It was an White Alaskan Cake from Sweet Dreams.

Priya and Daddy on her little boat while daddy drags her around

Daddy feeding Priya on her 8th month birthday

Priya in her 8th month birthday dress.  Looks more like a flower girl dress to me, but it fit, so I guess it was for a baby.  She looked cute in it.

Priya just joined the Goldfish Swim school and here she is in her new T-shir.

Priya opening presents.  She finally figured out how to rip open the boxes and give her a box now and she just rips it open.

Priya sleeping, and I am sure that her mom is sleeping nearby somewhere.  This tiny little girl wears out her mom totally and completely.  No need to go to the gym with a little baby in the house. 

Poor Priya got her hair completely removed.  Bald.  Apparently in Indian culture they do this so that the hair comes back thicker and fuller.  I am not sure if this is a scientific fact, but Neeta wanted to do it, so against my wishes it was done.  Priya did not cry at all.  Mommy held her in her lap and the stylist cut her hair off.

Priyas New Jail Cell.  She is so fast, that we have to leave her in here in case we are busy doing something.  Otherwise Whoosh, she is gone like the wind, and usually to wherever Kumo is.