But after a few failures, I would not even bother with the results, especially recently.
On Dec 17th 2011 (My Birthday) we had another procedure done:
Here was the email:
The embryo transfer was done today into 1 surrogate with 4 good embryos.
On Jan 3rd I got this email below:
We wish you a happy new year!
And we have got good news for you.
Your surrogate tested positive for the pregnancy test.
The Beta HCG values are now 131.3 mIU/mL.
You would guess that I would have been crazy excited, but I was not. The very first time we had done the invitro process it was also a successful pregnancy, but it ended up being an empty sac. So even at this point I was like, whatever.
So this morning I get this email:
Congratulations!
There was a heart beat found on scan done today!
There is a single gestational sac.
The CRL - Crown Rump Length- is 0.76 cm
The heart rate is 150-170 bpm
The gestational age is 6 weeks 4 days.
I have attached the report.
Here is the picture they sent us:
So here we are. A success, and you know what I am feeling. Excited and scared then melancholy. I feel like at this age, I am being very selfish in having a kid. By the time I am 67 my kid will finally be 20. 67 is so old.
I always had a sense that I would die early and had accepted that and like a self fulling prophecy I had not done anything to change that.
But now that I am having a kid, I think that I really need to get my act together and get my blood sugar under control and the weight under control. All the businesses are doing excellent and the kid should have plenty of money, but I think having me around to help out will make a big difference.
So here we are. If everything goes according to plan there will be a new baby in the house at the end of July or 1st few weeks of August.
Yes, the feelings are Excited and SO SO SCARED.
